This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
It's the end again! We've reached the final day of this writing-heavy 30 Days of Stuff, and the staff have now been allowed to put plasters over their writing blisters. But not before we tell you all about the stuff we either couldn't be arsed to write or abandoned along the way. Or made up because the title sounded funny. Whatever, you don't know and now you never will, because you'll never see these articles get written. Here are another 10 articles that we didn't write for 30 Days of Stuff:
It's the end again! We've reached the final day of this writing-heavy 30 Days of Stuff, and the staff have now been allowed to put plasters over their writing blisters. But not before we tell you all about the stuff we either couldn't be arsed to write or abandoned along the way. Or made up because the title sounded funny. Whatever, you don't know and now you never will, because you'll never see these articles get written. Here are another 10 articles that we didn't write for 30 Days of Stuff:
25 Best Big-Titted Cheeseburger Explosions
We were looking up ways of gaining traffic to the site, and decided to take a look at the most popular things that get clicks over in the graveyard of creativity that is Buzzfeed. So, it turns out that the articles that get the most hits are ones that have a list of 25 things, feature breasts, food or explosions. Ergo, this abandoned article.
Image Credit: tumblr.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Our remaining shred of dignity is still intact. Fuck Buzzfeed.
Our remaining shred of dignity is still intact. Fuck Buzzfeed.
10 Fat People Who Are Still Fat
When it comes to what the masses desire, it's news about celebrities failing at things they fail at too. Like getting fat, or staying fat, or just getting fatter. Other than our previous attempts at satirising zero effort celebrity 'news', there was one big reason we didn't write this one.
Image Credit: diyphotography.net
Reason We Didn't Write It:
It was a bit of a shit list. Numbers 1-3 were us, numbers 4-7 were the members of the once-popular boyband Blue and numbers 8-10 were us again.
It was a bit of a shit list. Numbers 1-3 were us, numbers 4-7 were the members of the once-popular boyband Blue and numbers 8-10 were us again.
The Top 10 Ad Companies Who Have Screwed Us Over
Adtomatik decided to stop putting ads on our site, stopped replying to our emails and have not paid up all $0.57 they fucking owe us! Fuck you Adtomatik!
Image Credit: adtomatik.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Because Adtomatik are complete cunts and deserved to be all ten places. Fuck 'em.
Because Adtomatik are complete cunts and deserved to be all ten places. Fuck 'em.
Why So Positive, Charlie Sheen?
You might rememebr this from the last 10 Article We Didn't Write. We mentioned that we were going to write this in vain of the still cancelled 'Why So Negative, Charlie Sheen'. Apart from both of these ideas being total jokes to begin with, we had other reasons to not write this one.
Image Credit: intouchweekly.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Who the fuck cares about Charlie Sheen? Also, AIDs is well out of fashion. It's cancer or nothing these days.
Who the fuck cares about Charlie Sheen? Also, AIDs is well out of fashion. It's cancer or nothing these days.
5 Celebrites You Won't Believe Are Still Alive
We're halfway through 2016, which means that your favourite supporting actor from a movie which was big in the 90s is probably dead. In my research for this non-article, I came across a news piece about Craig David, a man I thought was long dead. Then it hit me: holy shit! Who else might be alive that I wasn't aware of? If this article ever got written, the answer would shock you.
Image Credit: therichestimages.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Outside of Stan Lee and Bruce Forsythe, it would be impossible to maintain this list with people who aren't dead. That's the thing about death. It's sudden, random and can strike anyone at any time. Let that thought rock you to sleep tonight.
Outside of Stan Lee and Bruce Forsythe, it would be impossible to maintain this list with people who aren't dead. That's the thing about death. It's sudden, random and can strike anyone at any time. Let that thought rock you to sleep tonight.
Barely Legal Is Still Legal - An Ode To Young Bitches
Jary's favourite thing in the world is nailing bitches his own age, and by his own age, we mean much younger than him. Other than the issue of legality, we were expecting another of Jary's trademark windows into the world of sex, love and porn. But mostly a window into a room where Jary is shagging your daughter.
Image Credit: blogspot.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Jary said this about abandoning this article: "I thought I would document my love of slamming by writing this article, but true to form, I got distracted by some birds asking me to buy them booze. Long story short I ended up getting a handy on a Morrison's car park. Class."
Jary said this about abandoning this article: "I thought I would document my love of slamming by writing this article, but true to form, I got distracted by some birds asking me to buy them booze. Long story short I ended up getting a handy on a Morrison's car park. Class."
Why Your Mom Is Still At My House.
It's not very often we veto the things that we write. We are not big on censorship, however sometimes Jary needs reigning in a little bit. This is one of those times.
Image Credit: teez.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Jary ended up writing very graphic accounts of his shagging escapades with the mothers of the rest of the FoulENT crew. Once we'd finished throwing up, we swiftly put the work in the bin. Then we starting throwing up again, because it was rank.
Jary ended up writing very graphic accounts of his shagging escapades with the mothers of the rest of the FoulENT crew. Once we'd finished throwing up, we swiftly put the work in the bin. Then we starting throwing up again, because it was rank.
Getting Away With Wanking
Joe and Frank both live with birds. A side effect of this terrible affliction is that they don't have the time to have one off the wrist as often anymore. This article was going to be ways to find time to be alone and relax in a gentleman's way.
Image Credit: inquisitr.com
Reason We Didn't Write It:
They couldn't actually manage it. They have nuts like tins of Fussell's milk.
They couldn't actually manage it. They have nuts like tins of Fussell's milk.
Trolling: A Guide
Another Jary article we had to veto. Considering until recently Frank was going by the name The Cunt, it should show that we don't water down what we put on this site, nor are we above trolling. The intent was pure, though. A proper guide to the art form of getting a rise out of real idiots. Some might have seen it as destructive or offensive, but now no-one gets to see it.
Image Credit: wikimedia.org
Reason We Didn't Write It:
It turns out Jary is really shit at trolling women. Everytime he tried to troll one, he ended up getting nudes off her, and then shagging them. Class.
It turns out Jary is really shit at trolling women. Everytime he tried to troll one, he ended up getting nudes off her, and then shagging them. Class.
Literally Any Video Whatsoever
Surely we didn't get through an entire 30 Days of Stuff without making a single video, right? Well...
Image Credit: indiefilm.org
Reason We Didn't Write It:
Actually, we DID make a video! We just didn't finish it in time. Maybe you'll see it soon though... Yeah, you'll see it soon. And maybe we'll have something to announce soon... Yeah, we will. Look, we're not big on mystery. Our next video will be announcing something cool (Our podcast listeners should already know what it is!) and it's coming soon. We just couldn't finish it in time for the end of 30 Days. Whatever. There fuckloads of content though, so get reading and/or listening.
Why not take a look at the 30 pieces of content we DID make this month?:
Day 1: Pop Culture Club - VersusMania: 2016's Hero Vs Hero Films Reviewed and Ranked
Day 2: The Oscunts
Day 3: Rappers Who Look Like Other Rappers
Day 4: The Jary Files: 4 Celebrities Who Shagged Too Hard
Day 5: The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth: Pros and Cons of The Rise of Nerd Culture
Day 6: This Theory Will Change How You Watch Brokeback Mountain
Day 7: The Ten Best Toilet Euphemisms
Day 8: The Big Wank Theory: The Worst Show On TV
Day 9: Plenty Of Catfish: Genital Farm
Day 10: Which Civil War Character Are You?
Day 11: PopScorn - Captain America: Civil War Review
Day 12: Maypril Fools: 5 Jokes That Got Out Of Hand
Day 13: Friday The 12th - A Neil DeGrasse Tyson Special
Day 14: Are You A Roof Down Wanker?
Day 15: Gotta Cast Em All - #3: Pokemon Sun and Moon Starters, Region and Release Date!
Day 16: Deaf To All But Metal - Recent Bereavement Edition
Day 17: The Jary Files - The Lost Art Of Fingering
Day 18: Four Policies The Tories Are Going To Sneak Past You
Day 19: Awkward Social Situations (And How To Fix Them)
Day 20: The Five Worst Things On Facebook That You're Probably Posting
Day 21: Disgusting Habits That Are Good For You
Day 22: Why Preacher Won't Be Preacher
Day 23: The Jary Files - Shaggin' Round The World
Day 24: Exposing The Bullshit Behind The Ghostbusters Reboot Controversy
Day 25: Where Aren't They Now: News From May 2016
Day 26: Five Things Teenagers Need To Be Told
Day 27: PopScorn - X-Men: Apocalypse Review
Day 28: Gotta Cast Em All - #4: Scramble Run Results & Stories
Day 29: From Cunt To King: A Biography
Day 30: You've just read it, you tit.
Actually, we DID make a video! We just didn't finish it in time. Maybe you'll see it soon though... Yeah, you'll see it soon. And maybe we'll have something to announce soon... Yeah, we will. Look, we're not big on mystery. Our next video will be announcing something cool (Our podcast listeners should already know what it is!) and it's coming soon. We just couldn't finish it in time for the end of 30 Days. Whatever. There fuckloads of content though, so get reading and/or listening.
Why not take a look at the 30 pieces of content we DID make this month?:
Day 1: Pop Culture Club - VersusMania: 2016's Hero Vs Hero Films Reviewed and Ranked
Day 2: The Oscunts
Day 3: Rappers Who Look Like Other Rappers
Day 4: The Jary Files: 4 Celebrities Who Shagged Too Hard
Day 5: The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth: Pros and Cons of The Rise of Nerd Culture
Day 6: This Theory Will Change How You Watch Brokeback Mountain
Day 7: The Ten Best Toilet Euphemisms
Day 8: The Big Wank Theory: The Worst Show On TV
Day 9: Plenty Of Catfish: Genital Farm
Day 10: Which Civil War Character Are You?
Day 11: PopScorn - Captain America: Civil War Review
Day 12: Maypril Fools: 5 Jokes That Got Out Of Hand
Day 13: Friday The 12th - A Neil DeGrasse Tyson Special
Day 14: Are You A Roof Down Wanker?
Day 15: Gotta Cast Em All - #3: Pokemon Sun and Moon Starters, Region and Release Date!
Day 16: Deaf To All But Metal - Recent Bereavement Edition
Day 17: The Jary Files - The Lost Art Of Fingering
Day 18: Four Policies The Tories Are Going To Sneak Past You
Day 19: Awkward Social Situations (And How To Fix Them)
Day 20: The Five Worst Things On Facebook That You're Probably Posting
Day 21: Disgusting Habits That Are Good For You
Day 22: Why Preacher Won't Be Preacher
Day 23: The Jary Files - Shaggin' Round The World
Day 24: Exposing The Bullshit Behind The Ghostbusters Reboot Controversy
Day 25: Where Aren't They Now: News From May 2016
Day 26: Five Things Teenagers Need To Be Told
Day 27: PopScorn - X-Men: Apocalypse Review
Day 28: Gotta Cast Em All - #4: Scramble Run Results & Stories
Day 29: From Cunt To King: A Biography
Day 30: You've just read it, you tit.
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
By Joe Turner
@apocrypha87
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
@apocrypha87
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
By Frank King
Email Frank
Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.
Email Frank
Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.