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There has been a lot of talk in the news recently about the impending referendum on Britain's status within the European Union. Too much talk if you ask us. There is only so much of David Cameron's plate face and Boris Johnson's head that we can take. So, here to stop you having to listen to those gobshites, is this; The FoulENT guide to what they haven't told you about the EU Referendum. 
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Today is Election Day and I'm the only member of the writing staff who hasn't put my hat into the ring over this years General Election. You've get less than four hours to have your say today and you’re presumably reading this article for some last minute polling advice. So here it is: Fucking go and vote, you prick.  There are a lot of reasons to have issues with politics and politicians in particular. There are also a lot of reasons to feel disenfranchised from voting. I'm here to help you feel even more out of touch with the people who will potentially run our country. Labour, while still despicable, are on face value at least, a little more likeable than UKIP and the Tories. Before I get to the meat and drink of the issue, there is one thing that really pisses me off. Ed Milliband's fucking voice. Like Jeremy Beadle's fucking face before it, it just has something about it that really pisses people off. It's that constant blocked sinus sound. I can't trust a man who earns that much money and can't get hold of some Nasonex.  Anyway, on with more pressing matters.
I always thought politics was bullshit. The original idea for this article was to convince readers to NOT vote Conservative in favour of Labour or UKIP, or even to deploy a ‘tactical vote’ for one of the lesser-known gayer parties. But the more research I’m doing into this bore-fest, the more I’m thinking that voting for anyone is pointless.  |