Time for me to expose myself. Not like that, you dirty bastard.
Since this site started last year, I've been known as 'The Cunt'. There are a lot of reasons for that, the main one being I am a massive cunt. That is going to change though. Not for censorship reasons. We don't give a fuck about that. Sometimes we go back into articles and add in more swearing and pictures of cocks. No, it's because Facebook won't let me be called The Cunt. So it's time to finally reveal my true self; So, Frank King it is. To help you be introduced to this "new" "character", here is my official biography, written by indie film directing twat John Borowski.
Frank King: A Cunt In The Making
By John Borowski
School was a tough time for Frank, mainly because his parents forgot to register his birth so he wasn't properly enrolled. Because of this, he either stayed at home or went to the local snooker club. It was at the snooker club he first met Gasher "Michael" Owen and Joe Turner. It was here that they agreed to meet up in later years and create a mediocre website. Which is similar to my life, because I make fucking terrible films.
At the age of 14, Frank's parents divorced. He moved in with his mother and 19 of Fris and Lion's 73 children. Fris re-married not long after to the famous author R.L Stine. While Frank got along very well with R.L, he didn't take his Mother's new surname of King-Stine. Mainly because the bolts in Frank's neck from his operation to add a neck, combined with his huge forehead and new name would have made him a laughing stock. I know how that would feel, my awful films make me a laughing stock at the local YouTube meet ups. I get quite upset because there is a lad there with a video that has 46 views. That is 43 views more than people who have seen my three films!
Frank left his new family home soon after to move into Joe Turner's shed. It was here he developed a passion for masturbating into plant pots and writing marginally well received blog posts. It was in that shed that FoulENT was born with Joe and Gasher joining Frank in removing the sand from the shed floor so they could sit down to write properly.
From there things have gone from strength to strength and today Frank is the man you know and love (sort of) today. Personally, I hate FoulENT because more people read their articles than watch my shitty films. And that pisses me off.