When Megadeth claimed that killing was their business in 1985, one can assume that this was not meant to be taken literally. In fact, what has became apparent over the years is that the only crime Dave Mustaine can be punished for is being a twat. He has never once turned the act of killing into a business venture.
There is, however, a select few individuals who do indeed make a profit from the act of murder. These people are some of the lowest pieces of shit on earth, but more on that later. For now, let’s delve into this bizarre world.
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I've spent a lot of time hating people. I honestly cannot remember a day going by without me spitting venomous bile at somebody, for something. People are really shit. I can't stress that point strongly enough.
There are however five kinds of people who are just that much shitter than everyone else, and they deserve a special kind of hatred.
I love conspiracy theories I do. There is nothing better than reading why the twin towers definitely weren't blown up by planes and why President Obama is actually Sarah Palin blacked up. We all know the classics, but what about the smaller ones that fall through the cracks? These five conspiracy theories are the conspiracy theories that conspiracy theorists conspiracy theorise about.
Alright, here are my cards on the table before we begin: Splatoon is fucking awesome. I genuinely hope that it’s the start of a bustling franchise for Nintendo. I want more already and I haven’t even finished the first one. It’s that good. But setting aside my gushing for a second, let’s talk shooters.
They’re fucking boring, right? Yearly Call of Duty and Battlefield titles have taken the shine away from them. The last good one was Call of Duty 4 and that came out in 2007. You know what else was popular in 2007? Wii Sports and Avril Lavigne. It was fucking ages ago and literally shit all has changed in 8 years.
Splatoon, on the other hand, is a shooter that isn’t stale. It’s another example of Nintendo revolutionising a genre. This is what happens when Ninty actually get off their arse and do something other than rehashing 2D Mario games all the while. I did plan to do an article on why shooter games were slowly killing mainstream gaming, but then Splatoon happened. So here’s how Splatoon fixed the shooting genre.
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