Foul ENT

  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact

Are You A Roof Down Wanker?

14/5/2016

0 Comments

 
This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​There has been some sun in England this week. Almost immediately, dickheads and idiots rushed out of the house dressed in nothing but their best fake Reebok trainers to a beer garden so they can post on Facebook that they’re in a beer garden. Most of these people live in working class, under-privileged towns near to their manual labour jobs so an affordable pub is generally within walking distance. But for the triple-A assholes, there’s always the alternative: taking your convertible vehicle for a drive. These are known in the industry as 'roof down wankers' and you might be one. Here’s how you can find out:
Picture

Take The Quiz: Are You a Roof Down Wanker?

Q1: Do you own, or have you ever owned a convertible vehicle?
  1. No, and I never will
  2. No, but I would like to
  3. Yes, and my penis is incredibly small
  4. The web browser in this Mazda MX-5 isn’t compatible with quiz-based web pages
Q2: What’s the first thing you think when you see a roof down wanker?
  1. Wow, I hope I’m as cool as him when I hit 70
  2. Why has that wanker got his roof down?
  3. What a stupid roof down wanker twat
  4. Roof down wanker
Q3: How did you purchase your current vehicle?
  1. My parents bought it for me
  2. I got it on finance and my wages from my low paid, unskilled manual labour job barely cover the monthly costs on this shit factory of a car
  3. I stole it from some yardies
  4. I ran a twat marathon and came first place
Q4: If you could do only one of the following, which one would it be?
  1. Piss out of a helicopter
  2. Receive oral sex from a three-breasted alien
  3. Climb Mount Rushmore and put your balls on Lincoln’s head
  4. Meet Bob Geldof
Q5: You are a:
  1. Female in her 20s with big cans
  2. Grey haired middle age twat with no friends
  3. Black man with sass
  4. Roof down wanker
Q6: Your wife left you because:
  1. Dick looked like a mushroom
  2. Got busted for perving on young women despite being three times their age. It was all over the local news
  3. Impotent
  4. She killed herself to get away from you

Results:

Mostly 1’s
The only thing that stops you being a complete tool is the fact you might be a woman. The only reason for anyone to ever drive with their roof down is so that men can get a better look at your cans. Even so, if you’re ugly, or your cans are anything below huge, do everyone a favour and drive your convertible car into a volcano. What a loser.

Mostly 2’s
2 is short for is big stupid 2wat, which is what you are if you got this result.  You probably work in a factory or a supermarket. You have a tattoo sleeve made up of clouds, stars and a lion’s face which your mate Darren did for cheap even though all his tattoos look like shit. Your goal is to become supermarket manager one day, which you never will because of your result on this quiz.

Mostly 3’s
You have the potential to be a roof down wanker, but you’re not one. Choosing C’s on this quiz is the only hope you have if you don’t want to be waiting tables or emptying bins for the rest of your life. So long as you resist the urge to buy a convertible, you will do okay in life, but still pretty bad.

Mostly 4’s
You are a roof down wanker of the highest order. You a twice divorced, middle aged sleaze whose overgrown chest hair sticks out of his unbuttoned shirt like muff pubes in an 80s porno. People make wanker signs behind your back and everybody loves it when you get sick. People call you a convertible driving shithead and openly discuss how great it would be if you crashed into a wall. Your family don’t invite you to parties and everyone wishes you were dead.

Picture
By Joe Turner

Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Blogs

    You can find all of our articles right here. Use the menus below to sort by date, author or series.

    Also, click the buttons below to explore our social network antics.

    Articles

    All
    30 Days Of Stuff
    5 Days With...
    Articles By Abdurahman
    Articles By Darren
    Articles By Frank King
    Articles By Jary
    Articles By Joe
    Articles By Mike
    Ask Jary
    Code Club
    Danke-bitte
    Deaf To All But Metal
    Death Of Video Games
    E3 2015
    E3 2016
    Foul Fantasy Devblog
    Foul-To's
    Friday The 12th
    General Foulection
    Jary Files
    Plenty Of Catfish
    Podcasts
    Pop Culture Club
    Rider Report
    Site News
    Star Wars Week
    #Tagurday
    WWE Stats 2019

    Archives

    January 2025
    August 2024
    June 2024
    April 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

© Foul Entertainment, 2015 - 2022
​
​