This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
April Fool passed us by over a month ago. We didn't do anything for it because we don't like to insult our readers by pretending we're doing something incredibly controversial or saddening. We could do that any day with sincerity and do it better than anyone else. Plus, we didn't make anything that literally cost people their jobs. But May is a time to celebrate things that started as jokes but got serious quickly. A bit like this website.
April Fool passed us by over a month ago. We didn't do anything for it because we don't like to insult our readers by pretending we're doing something incredibly controversial or saddening. We could do that any day with sincerity and do it better than anyone else. Plus, we didn't make anything that literally cost people their jobs. But May is a time to celebrate things that started as jokes but got serious quickly. A bit like this website.
Hit the jump to read them!
1: The French Were Too Lazy To Dismantle The Eiffel Tower
Image Credit: heliconmagazine.co.uk
Everyone knows the Eiffel Tower; France's own effort in the International Dick Measuring Contest alongside Big Ben, The Empire State Building, the Tokyo Tower and anything built in Dubai. It was built for the 1889 World Fair in Paris, and was supposed to be taken down in 1909. However, according to the French government, it proved so valuable for communication and tourism, that it has stayed up until this day. Although it is easier to believe that the lazy frogs were too full on wine, cheese and an irrational hatred for people who aren't French to even bother a take down attempt.
2: Dicking On Magicians Became Scientific Study
Image Credit: blog.ellusionist.com
In the past, if something couldn't be explained by rational means, it was explained away as an act of God or magic. Magicians have existed as far back as Jesus of Nazareth, who is famous for such tricks as turning water into wine, healing the lame and fooling the entire Christian church that his dad was an invisible man in the sky who loves everyone except those who don't believe in him, leading to untold war and acts of brutality for over 2000 year. Good trick, that one. Anyway, in the 1300's, a friar known as William of Ockham got sick of the amount of magicians/holy men in the world and developed a heuristic technique known as Occam's Razor that encourages the development of scientific theoretical that essentially rejects predefined notions of thought. Yes, a monk basically told magicians and prophets to suck a fat one.
3: 'Sweet Child O Mine' Started Out As Circus Music
Image Credit: themusicuniverse.com
Guns N Roses are made up of some of the best rock musicians of the 80's and 90's, and Axl Rose. Whilst the band are known nowadays for their infamous fallouts, shit albums and Axl Rose being an even bigger cunt than before, they are responsible for one of the most revered songs of all time, 'Sweet Child O' Mine'. But the song didn't begin with the intention to forever change the rock and karaoke worlds; it initially began as a skipping exercise that Slash developed to warm up for gigs. Slash even hated playing the now famous riff because it started as a joke mixture of 'Chopsticks' and circus music that written in five minutes and was basically an in-joke for him and Izzy Stradlin because they thought it sounded stupid. Axl Rose then stormed in and said that it was going to be a song. He then tried to write the lyrics, but being the talentless prick that his is, failed to finish them, leading to the now famous 'Where do we go now?' breakdown.
Axl has now moved on to ruining AC/DC and Slash went on to write actual music.
Axl has now moved on to ruining AC/DC and Slash went on to write actual music.
4: Ubisoft's Attempt At Mocking Fan's Nostlagia Led To One Of The Best Games Ever
Ubisoft's Far Cry series has been around since 2004 and has been good since 2012, with Far Cry 3 reinventing the franchise. As a gag, the developers at Ubisoft Montreal started putting insane things into the games code, like laser guns and dinosaurs, that basically took the piss out of the stuff that fans were asking to be put into a future Far Cry game. The whole thing was a continued joke at the studio that get way out of hand and taken very seriously. A year later in 2013, a trailer for a standalone spin-off game called Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon was released on, you guessed it, April Fools. The trailer showed off a hyper-stylised 80's pastiche game, that was about an android voiced by Michael Biehn carting about an island killing dinosaurs that shot lasers at you. Everyone took the trailer as a joke, but wondered aloud how awesome it would be if the game actually released for real. Luckily, the game was released for real at the end of the month. And it was awesome.
5: Religion Started As A Lie To Get Away From The Wife
Image Credit: stjohnoneone.com
We mentioned a magician by the name of Jesus of Nazareth earlier. He was pretty popular, but before him, a collection of ancient Israeli men from Roman-occupied Jerusalem were sick to death of their marriages and wanted nothing more to do than hang about with their bros, drink wine and bum kids. So, they did what any smart blokes would do and said to their spouses that they discovered religion. They nicked a load of titles and ideals from Greco-Roman paganism and Hellenistic Jewish culture and just made up a new religion. Boom. Job done. Nothing but wine and under-age sodomy from here on out. But their wives got suspicious that they were lying about their new-found enlightenment, so the husbands were forced to actually make churches to prove they weren't lying and totally not just hanging out, boozing and bumming. But it caught on with idiots across the land and later the world over.
Anyway, the punchline is Catholicism.
If anything from this article has enlightened, enraged or intrigued you, that was completely unintentional, because this article also started as a joke in the writers room. But then, I took it too seriously and wrote it. And then you read it. What I'm saying is, you and I are basically no better than the French, Axl Rose or paedophiles in the church.
Alright, we're probably better than Axl Rose.
Anyway, the punchline is Catholicism.
If anything from this article has enlightened, enraged or intrigued you, that was completely unintentional, because this article also started as a joke in the writers room. But then, I took it too seriously and wrote it. And then you read it. What I'm saying is, you and I are basically no better than the French, Axl Rose or paedophiles in the church.
Alright, we're probably better than Axl Rose.
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games