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The Big Wank Theory: The Worst Show on TV

8/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!

​Big Bang Theory? More like Big Wank Theory! We spent the exact amount of time on that joke that Chuck Lorre does on an average episode of this literal human vomit. The Big Wank Theory is somehow the biggest show on TV, and even being elevated to this high stature hasn't made the show any good. In fact, it's made it worse. It is complete shit. Being forced to watch an episode of this is worse than being wrongly imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay, which is ironic, because this is probably used as a torture device there. But, what do we hate about this show, other than the creators, writing, direction, premise, cameos, themes, depiction of nerd culture, awards, fan base, popularity and financial success? The characters. Below are our thoughts on what makes these characters suck.
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And trust us, they fucking suck.

Sheldon Cooper

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Obviously autistic fan-favourite Sheldon Cooper, he is the main attraction of this stupid show and is clearly too retarded to have an attractive girlfriend like the rest of the cast. Played by a gay man in his 40’s, Sheldon struggles with social interactions with all the finesse of a thalidomide sufferer trying to zip up his trousers. After ten years of playing Sheldon Cooper, actor Jim Parsons will now be typecast as a socially-awkward mongoloid for the rest of his life as evident by his role those stupid Intel adverts. Sheldon Cooper choosing to be the face of Intel has created a sudden surge in AMD processor sales.
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Leonard Hofstadter

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Sheldon’s best friend Leonard provides moments of sanity between Sheldon’s crazy antics, and is therefore the straight man in more ways than one. Leonard is most noticeable for being the love interest of Penny, who is the only two reasons to watch the Big Bang Theory.
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Raj Koothrappali

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Far being it from us to rag on people who use racism to get cheap laughs, but in our defence, we don’t do it do millions of people every week. Raj is the token minority in a world of mostly white characters, and has such noticeable character traits as not being able to talk to women unless he’s been drinking and  harbouring a love of romantic comedies. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that Raj sounds like an asshole.
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Howard Wolowitz

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Nothing says cultural diversity like putting a Jew in your sitcom.
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Penny

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Nice cans.

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By Joe Turner

Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.

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By The Cunt
Email The Cunt

A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.

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By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen

The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games

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