This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
Over the last year or so, Foul ENT has moved from a straight up puerile, cheap gag factory to... well, we sometimes do serious articles, I guess. I, for one, am disgusted about this transition. If there is one thing I want more of in the world, it's toilet humour. Read on you sick animals, for the ten best euphemisms for expelling waste products from your body!
Over the last year or so, Foul ENT has moved from a straight up puerile, cheap gag factory to... well, we sometimes do serious articles, I guess. I, for one, am disgusted about this transition. If there is one thing I want more of in the world, it's toilet humour. Read on you sick animals, for the ten best euphemisms for expelling waste products from your body!
Reversing Your Breakfast
Image Credit: popsugar.com
When you think about it, this isn't that disgusting. It also makes a lot of sense. Except I always have my shit first thing in the morning, so it's my evening meal that I am reversing. That doesn't have quite the same ring to it though does it. It doesn't roll off the tongue in the same way. Which is not what you want to be associating with a crap really, is it?
Birthing An Anteater
Image Credit: softschools.com
This one makes no sense at first. Then, you google anteaters. If you went to the toilet at Chuck Berry's house, the video he recorded would definitely look like you were giving birth to an anteater.
Improving Joey Barton's Face
Image Credit: mirror.co.uk
Have you seen his head? The word shithead was invented for him. A dump on his face would still be an improvement, though.
Dehydrating At Pace
Image Credit: themedicalchannel.com
This is the first water based euphemism. Technically, if you urinated constantly, you would dehydrate and die. You'd need to keep drinking, which in turn would mean you keep peeing. It's like the circle of life, but wetter.
Deploying The Ejector Seat
Image Credit: momentumni.com
This one only works if you'd had a curry. There was a bloke in Newcastle who actually managed to blow himself through his roof after a double vindaloo and 47 bottles of Tiger beer.
Releasing Nelson Mandela
Image Credit: dailymail.co.uk
It's a well known fact that releasing a mandela from your starfish prison ends a-fart-heid. Just to clarify, this isn't a race thing. I genuinely think Nelson Mandela is a murdering piece of shit.
Bullying The Bowl
Image Credit: deathandtaxesmag.com
This one is reserved for when you've had way too much spicy food and possibly an undercooked sausage. It's when you leave a trail of destruction so catastrophic that not even bleach and a small child's head can clean it.
A Hitler Piss
Image Credit: welt.de
This is when your bladder is so full you can't stand up straight. You have to put one hand on the wall, you know like a Hitler salute. Either that or you bladder is so full because you've had enough of the juice.
A Virgin Interactive
Image Credit: lawyers4mumpreneurs.com
This is when you think you have nothing left, when you think that you are completely empty, and yet some more still gets taken out of your bank account for a substandard service... Uh, I mean you do more shitting.
An Adam Sandler
Image Credit: imgur.com
This is just a really big, annoying shit.
By The Cunt
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.