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Four Policies The Tories Are Going To Sneak Past You

18/5/2016

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This article is a part of FoulENT's 30 Days of Stuff! Click here to read all 30 Days entries and be sure to come back every day in May for new stuff just like this!
It's no secret that I am not a fan of the Conservative government. Specifically David Cameron, Jeremy Hunt and George Osbourne. Oh Theresa May too, I'm all for gender equality when it comes to people being bastards. Here's the thing though, they haven't done fucking with you yet. There's more to come, and here they are. 
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Junior Doctors Have To Work Weekends At Lidl

Lidl recently started paying the living wage, which if you've ever tried to pay both rent and bills while eating more than rice with the memory of sauce should be called the surviving by the skin of your teeth wage. Either way, it's very good that Lidl have increased their wages, Jeremy Hunt thinks so. That's why he has decided to supplement the NHS budget by making junior doctors work at Lidl on the weekends. 
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Image Credit: telegraph.co.uk
It's genius, now doctors don't get overtime at weekends, he sends them to Lidl without paying them, brings in some much needed cash, to employ private practice doctors from the medical consultancy firm he owns a stake in. 

The Poor Must Learn To Self Medicate

This one is excellent. Our mate Jeremy has worded it a little different in his proposal to David Cameron but the basic gist of it is that the NHS will slowly be sold off. As it is sold off the cost of medical treatment will be increased to the point where the poor will be unable to afford it. They have two choices, make an ancient remedy from the heather at the bottom of the garden or die. As I understand it, Jeremy Hunt thinks that poor people all share a communal garden, so will die off pretty quickly. 

Waitrose Are Going To Be Given Huge Tax Breaks

In return they will get the exclusive deal to provide the grocery shopping for all Tory ministers for free. I know what you're thinking, how is this good? Honestly? Well doesn't it give you such a warm feeling knowing that your hard work is helping to pay for Jeremy Hunt to have his free range egg and cress on a gluten free flat bread? 
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Image Credit: telegraph.co.uk

Human Swine Interactions Are To Be Made Legal

I don't know what the story behind this one is. Do you?
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Image Credit: Me! Fuckface.

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By The Cunt

A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.

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