It's a weekly news article released on Saturdays, where we gather top trending stories on Twitter and report and ramble on the stories behind them.
We at Foul Entertainment felt that there was plenty of current everyday issues that we just weren't covering. With that in mind, welcome to the first edition of #Tagurday!
It's a weekly news article released on Saturdays, where we gather top trending stories on Twitter and report and ramble on the stories behind them.
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I always thought superstition was bullshit. Only a moron would believe that walking under a ladder will give you years of bad luck, or being glared at by a malevolent person will make your dick fall off. Today is Friday the 13th, and that means friends and co-workers alike will be making bullshit claims like ‘I’m not going outside today!’ or ‘bad things are going to happen today!’ and other such nonsensical garbage. First of all, it doesn’t bother me what you believe. If you believe that a black cat walking infront of you means that you’ve been marked for death, then I hope it’s true. Also, you’re an idiot. But I’m not judging, this year’s idiots are next year’s Pizza Hut workers, and I like Pizza Hut. As Jeff Goldblum said; life finds a way. Regardless, there’s another reason why Friday the 13th bullshit irritates me: it reduces an awesome horror franchise to a bandwagon which gets jumped on because people think they know what they’re talking about. Jason Vorhees, the antagonist in the Friday the 13th series, is a masked zombie who kills anyone who enters his camp. Not any camp, just his camp. So if you want to stay safe tonight, don’t go to the campsite where Jason kills people. Simple enough. However, I know the next time the 13th of the month happens to land on a Friday people are still going to bitch about bad luck regardless of my preaching, so instead of opposing them I’m going to join them. Below, I put forward some new superstitions that we should all start believing:
I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For ISIS
One of the boldest decisions we made humour wise was to poke fun at a group of insane murderers. Regardless of what you think about anything, these guys are stone cold killers, so much so that one of their top of the class killers is the most famous John right now. More famous than John Legend and his surname is Legend! There is a joke about John du Pont in there as well somewhere. Either way, we decided to portray them as perpetrators of a ridiculous supermarket war. Once we had that idea, it was only one step to ripping on other ridiculous hate groups and the Crew Cut Clan were born. A group of bald men who hate cross gender trouser wearing and shorts who have to operate underground because of the civil tights movement.
I always thought sport was bullshit. Ever since my high school P.E. days when I was made to play football against people who were better at it than I was, I've held an unnaturally high resentment for most forms of competitive physical activity. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand why loads of people enjoy it, and I am all for keeping in shape, but even with this outlook I still find it hard to be enthusiastic about it. Note: Extreme Ironing isn't on this list for some reason, so I reckon Joe is talking shite - Mike Luckily for people like me, being alive in 2015 means we aren't just limited to the run of the mill sports which existed in yesteryear. While football, cricket, and beating your spouse is still alive and well in today’s world, we’re also treated to some of the weirdest, most bizarre and downright pointless excuses for physical recreation.
I present to you: an alternative to sports.
I thought it was ready. Joe thought it was ready. We sent it to play testers.
It wasn't ready. Thankfully there was nothing major to be fixed. There was a tileset issue, whereby it was entirely possible to walk over everything inside the CCC hut. Fortunately that just took ten minutes to fix. There were stylistic issues that me and Joe disagreed on. It wasn't that we disagreed on how it should work, we disagreed on if it should be implemented into the demo. On the day before it had to go out. We ended up leaving it undecided, with a view to decide on a final style for the final demo version.
Regarding the stylistic issues, we don’t usually have many disagreements regarding the design of towns or interiors. It should be mentioned that my taste and style is impeccable (just got myself some pretty rad leopard print curtains) whereas Cunt lives in a disused warehouse with three other men.
This diary should be posted about four weeks after it was written, which means that the first version of the demo is now out. We've taken a very bold decision in releasing our first play version to the public. Normally, it should go through vigorous in-house testing on a first play, but that isn't how we roll. In all honesty, it's not because we want to give something back to our fans or any bullshit like that. We won't be charging for the finished product, it will be free on this site as the demo is, so if that isn't giving back then I don't know what is.
This seems to sum it up nicely.
No, it's because we want feedback; we want to know what is working, what is shit and where we have dropped massive Steve-sized bollocks (our mate Steve has massive bollocks). If we trusted our friends and family to do it, we would get sugar coated versions of what they think. Whereas you, our audience, you have no such qualms about hurting our feelings. So if you have played the demo, then drop us an email with what you think of it. Either use the site email address, or (and I would recommend this one as this is the one me and Joe check more often) email Jary directly. Now all that shit is out of the way, here is the actual entry.
There is an unwritten rule throughout social convention that one should never outstay their welcome. Over the years, we have learnt that there exists a mutual code of conduct which should result in all parties going their separate ways once everything which needs discussing has been addressed. This time last year I was dating a girl who regularly came to my place and refused to leave, to the point where I began studying techniques to prepare for her eventual dismissal. I felt like a complete shit afterwards, and I knew that I shouldn't have to revert to off-hand tactics to get people to go away. But this got me thinking; maybe the unwritten code isn't so universal after all? Had the rules changed in the past few years and I wasn't aware? Maybe we just do the whole thing online now?
But then I think; no, surely not? Maybe the goal posts are just slightly altered depending on your outlook on things? Even when notoriously out of touch with reality celebrity asshole Louis Walsh understands the concept, it can’t be that hard for the normal people of the world to fathom?
Or maybe I spoke too soon.
I’m not sure how other game developers work, but we spent just as many months playing and replaying our game from scratch in order to make sure everything up to the current point made sense. Most of the time, it didn’t. Whether it was finding remnants of a story-arc which we later took out or being able to buy your Uncle’s pills despite having no money, we usually found something which needed hot-fixing. I’ll let The Cunt explain the technicalities of such things:
Here's a question for you...
Who the FUCK names a variable 'pants'!?Since Al Capone murdered loads of people 86 years ago, we have annually celebrated this tragic event by exchanging romantic gifts for some reason. Nowhere is this nonsense more prevalent than on the minefield of vanity and one-upmanship that is social media. Valentine’s Day is one of those days when everyone feels the need to prove to their imaginary audience that their day is going great, regardless of whether they’re single, married, divorced, or whatever.
So here we go; here are the different types of statuses that you’ll be seeing throughout today. 'Write what you know’ is a phrase thrown around almost exclusively by people who don’t know what they’re talking about. If we only wrote about what we knew, the world would be full of garbage autobiographies from people with nothing to say. While this phrase is universally acknowledged as dog shit, it can be true on the rarest of occasions. For example, Ian Fleming was kind of a bad ass, and Ernest Hemingway was a Rocky sequel away from becoming the hardest man to have ever lived. Look at this man. Witness his manliness. So in the vein of James Bond and, er... one of Ernest Hemingway’s characters, I'm going to write about what I know, and that’s murder. Now, we know that murder a subject not often discussed on comedy websites and for good reason. Horror films have been my genre of choice since I was a kid, and my spare time and university studies have led me to learn about, obsess over and even contact some of the most notorious murderers in the real world. The line where fictional horror meets reality is what we’ll be discussing today. Hit 'Read More' to dive into the mind of the murderer! |
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