I present to you: an alternative to sports.
#4 - Golf
The alternative: pen spinning.
And for the more risqué amongst you, why not apply the spinning aspect to other similarly-sized objects? I hear kitchen knives are a good place to start.
#3 - Darts
The alternative: cardistry.
#2 - Chess/Boxing
the alternative; chess boxing.
#1 - Football
The alternative: racially motivated murder
I don’t want to go too deep into this, this is a comedy site after all. So I’ll leave you with the image I originally wanted to finish with:
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment and the author and deviser of Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main player on Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the bulk of the artistic design in our upcoming gaming department.