It’s been eight short months since we last endured the cringeworthy comments of superstitious colleagues and idiots about what might have happen if you walk under a ladder, break a mirror or get disembowelled by a Thunder God, which can only mean that Friday the 13th is upon us once more.
I stated my reasons last time as to why superstition is bullshit, so I won’t go there again. Instead, enjoy 7 more new superstitions which the Foul Ent team are bringing to the masses. But wear your own coat so you don’t get AIDS.
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On death, Paritoshik Sharma once said "Death is inevitable. Our fear of it makes us play safe, blocks out emotion. It's a losing game. Without passion you are already dead." Celebrities are husks of people, built on the fear that people won't care who they are anymore. Here are five celebrities who have shown the fear is real, cause they look old as fuck.
All the cool kids are talking about services like Twitch and whatever a Pewdiepie is, which tells me that the art of watching people play games is at an all-time high. Sounds like now is the right to become a pro-gamer, right? We’ve all heard success stories of a bunch of socially awkward teenagers earning a shit ton of unjustifiable cash, and I’m sure many of us would love to sit around playing games for a living.
But every occupation has its dark side. Pimps don’t just get cash siphoned into their felt pockets, sometimes they have to wait in cupboards to jump out on customers refusing to pay. Ron Jeremy sometimes has to trim his dick so he can fit it into some 19 year old snatch. What I’m saying is; not everything is as easy as it seems. I was a pro World of Warcraft player for a number of years, and not once did I have sex with a druid.
Approximately a billion and a half of people have Facebook. And recently, it feels like most of that billion are posting Minion quotes. You've probably seen them. They're annoying, they're over used, they're cliche... and they're fucking everywhere. But what if the people posting them were honest about what they were saying with these viral images? We wondered that, too. Here is what Minion quotes would look like if they were written honestly.
Between the announcement of Ant-Man and The Wasp, Fast and Furious 8 and another Terminator sequel, it's easy to see that Hollywood still cannot stop making sequels. Most of which are completely pointless. That got the FoulENT lads thinking...
Idiots on my Facebook feed have recently been sharing a stupid article entitled ‘19 Real Life Examples of An Extroverted Introvert So You Don’t Get Confused’. The title of this article alone is enough to make me want to drown your pets and kick your fence down because, as difficult as you might find it to believe, I don’t spend a large percentage of my day worrying if I’ve incorrectly labeled you as an extrovert when you’re clearly an introverted extrovert or vice versa. Infact, do you know how exactly how much of a percentage of my day I think about such things? Zero percent. And so does everyone else. After the recent announcement of the Facebook dislike button, the FoulENT crew tried to track down Mark Zuckerberg for an interview about his decision to include the long sought after button. We couldn't. However, we did bump into Mark Wahlberg on the way back to the hotel, and it turns out he thinks Facebook is wank as well. Here are 5 features we all thought Facebook should have already done.
After this years Apple Event, which saw the announcement of new iterations of the iPhone, iPad and Apple TV, we thought we'd show you the products that may have slipped under the radar from this years presentation. Here are five Apple products that you will soon want in your life.
Part 1: WWE - Wrestling With Morality, by Joe TurnerTV shows addressing social issues is nothing new. TV writers use the advantage of being seen by millions to channel their opinions through their on-screen characters, and this can serve as a both entertaining and educational. In the 80s, we had Very Special Episodes. Today, we have hot shows like Orange is the New Black and Under The Dome making metaphorical comparisons to real life issues through their storylines. As with everything, some shows just do it better than others. Glee is well known for addressing social problems, but could never match up to the genius of South Park’s satirical stance on everything. While most shows should be commended for at least trying to tackle serious subject matters, some TV writers need to stay the hell away. And there’s one major culprit out there: WWE. Wrestling is largely known for its stupidity. I was barely a teenager when the WWE famously tackled some questionably large issues for an industry based on grown men touching each other, and I remember it confusing the shit out of me. Take for example when the tag team champions married each other for some reason. Or when the WWE voiced their opinion on the pressing issue of geriatric interracial abortion. If there’s one thing that’s certain in this life, it’s that we can always rely on the WWE to deliver a positive message for the youth of today. Such as when...
I always thought politics was bullshit. The original idea for this article was to convince readers to NOT vote Conservative in favour of Labour or UKIP, or even to deploy a ‘tactical vote’ for one of the lesser-known gayer parties.
But the more research I’m doing into this bore-fest, the more I’m thinking that voting for anyone is pointless. |
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