The main problem with writing the Dev Diary is that it's been started mid way through the project. It's like when your missus puts Hollyoaks on, you don't really give a shit, but you keep asking who Freddie is and why he has such shit tattoos.
I find it a lot harder to write this than I do making the game. If you want someone to make ridiculous jokes about cocks and Islam I am your Imam. If you want someone to sensibly document the progress of a project I am probably not your man. Ah well, here goes.
The main problem with writing the Dev Diary is that it's been started mid way through the project. It's like when your missus puts Hollyoaks on, you don't really give a shit, but you keep asking who Freddie is and why he has such shit tattoos.
I thought I would tackle this issue by starting from the start, without giving too much away about the story and whatnot. Read on to find out more!
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To tie in with the upcoming demo release of our recently announced RPG game, we've decided to document some of the hardships we've endured during the game design process. As our game isn't your everyday sandbox RPG, we’ll not only be covering the coding aspects which have gone into Foul Fantasy, but also some of the inspirations and character biographies which will hopefully bring the Thepen Islands to life.
As our gaming department is, at the core, a two man team, this series of blogs will be written by both Joe and me, The Cunt. Joe has opted to have his parts highlighted in a beautiful shade of pink to differentiate between the two of us in later blogs. This way, it will be easier for us to argue about who wrote the best bits.
So, what goes into making your first video game? Read on to find out!
Since my delve into the terrible world of online dating, I’ve seen more pictures of dicks than any male of my sexual orientation should ever have to. I’ve personally never understood why this phenomenon has caught on, because it takes the idea of mating and reduces it to its lowest form, like a lion who sits in a mound of shit with its ass in the air. It cuts out all of the foreplay involved in getting to know someone and immediately wants to get down to business. It reduces us to our most primal form. It’s a common fact that humans are one of the very few species on earth who have sex purely for enjoyment, which alone makes us both unique and stupid.
Now, before you read ahead, please be aware that this article is nasty. It’s a little different to my last two because I’m using the people who’ve messaged me as examples rather than messing with them directly. There’s talk of anal sex, childhood traumas, putting foreign objects in your ass, and Elvis. If this isn’t your thing, there’s some other things on this site that will take your fancy, but for now I’m dealing with important issues. So, read on if you're down for the ride into the peculiar world of perversion.
A friend of mine once told me; "it’s not cheating if you don’t cum". I’ll let you be the judge as to whether this statement is the poetic ideology of a sexual genius, or the abhorrent justifications of a cheating asshole. We can all agree that cheating is universally regarded as a bad thing, although some statistics might have you believe the otherwise. Not to mention that defining cheating is probably more hassle than actually doing it. However, my philanderous friend raises a good question in where does the line between monogamy and cheating end? What about the annual kiss I have to give my Mom at Christmas? What about the weekly kiss I give your mom on her FUPA? What I'm asking is; is there a clear, distinct moment when it becomes clear, like in Bridget Jones? Or is it interpretive and blurry, like in Terminator 2?
To answer this question with some degree of authority, I consulted with some of my new friends over at Plenty of Fish. Hit the 'Read more' button to find out what they have to say about cheating.
I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said...
Let that sink in for a moment. Maybe, for a brief second, you did just entertain the idea that maybe Abraham Lincoln made such a prophetic statement over a hundred years before the internet was invented, or maybe you’re one of the clever types who saw the point I was trying to make almost immediately. While it is true that during Lincoln’s existence he didn't even have access to dial up speeds, it is also true that the human brain is inclined to believe whatever crock of shit is fed to them, regardless of context.
It is through this psychological phenomenon that such wondrous myths and bullshit have manifested in the collective subconscious. It is through this that almost four million people a day still believe what they read in the Daily Mail, why experts still wrongly tell us that we swallow insects in our sleep, and why my Mom told me yesterday that full fat milk will give me cancer.
This begs the question; why do we believe everything we read? And how does it relate to catfishing? Read on to find out.
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