On death, Paritoshik Sharma once said "Death is inevitable. Our fear of it makes us play safe, blocks out emotion. It's a losing game. Without passion you are already dead." Celebrities are husks of people, built on the fear that people won't care who they are anymore. Here are five celebrities who have shown the fear is real, cause they look old as fuck.
1. Anthea Turner
Gone are the days when Anthea Turner brightened up our TVs for 15 minutes on a Wednesday afternoon, when people were nursing a hangover. The 80's presenter has since left behind the glamour and eating Flakes for photo-shoots, and instead has opted to do a shit load of coke and eat the heads off bats instead
2. Jay Kay from Jamiroquai
The years haven't been kind to this floppy hatted, egotistical 'singer'. Jay Kay, who once fronted the late 90's funk band Jamiroquai, used to drive Lamborghinis and bang Denise Van Outen when she was fit. Now, you're more likely to find him trying to rip his own head off to escape his ugliness. He was last seen taking his Aunt Sally to the MOBO's.
3. Michael McIntyre
Watching Michael McIntyre live is like drinking warm diarrhoea from a 'Keep Calm and Carry On' mug; disappointing from all angles and more stale than his jokes. McIntryre, who almost puts the 'man' in 'funnyman', has caused countless problems for tailors all around the country by having a body that physically doesn't make sense. And age hasn't made him any less complicated. Now, nobody knows what he identifies as, other than sort-of Chinese.
4. Ricky Martin
Notorious dogger Stan Collymore once said that Ricky Martin was the 'gayest man' he has ever known. After his short lived music career went down the drain and his good looks began to fade, Ricky Martin resorted to a career low in order to get back into the limelight. Martin grew some unconvincing facial hair and took the name of his favourite classical composer. Then, after being told Herb Alpert isn't a classic composer, he took the name Wagner instead, and the world was none the wiser. Martin then went on to still not have a career and today can be found in lay-bys across the country, asking motorists for a quick go on an arse.
5. Piers Morgan
After Piers Morgan was replaced by a binbag full of dog turds as the editor of The Mirror, the hard times took their toll on the infamous shitslinger. With most ageing, prominent features become accentuated further, and Morgan was no exception, becoming an even bigger cunt than he already was. Morgan is still trying to forge a dwindling career, when we'd all rather he just curled up died.
By Joe Turner
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
By The Cunt
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.