It’s been eight short months since we last endured the cringeworthy comments of superstitious colleagues and idiots about what might have happen if you walk under a ladder, break a mirror or get disembowelled by a Thunder God, which can only mean that Friday the 13th is upon us once more.
I stated my reasons last time as to why superstition is bullshit, so I won’t go there again. Instead, enjoy 7 more new superstitions which the Foul Ent team are bringing to the masses. But wear your own coat so you don’t get AIDS.
Not voting in the general election makes you grow a pair of tits
Image Credit: namepros.com
‘Voting closes in an hour, man. Don’t you need to get down there?’
‘This year I’m voting for tits. By not voting!’
‘This year I’m voting for tits. By not voting!’
Liquor before beer, fired from Top Gear
Image Credit: theguardian.co.uk
‘Stop! If you’ve already started on the spirits, you have to carry on.’
‘Woah, thanks buddy! Almost got fired from Top Gear for a second.’
‘Woah, thanks buddy! Almost got fired from Top Gear for a second.’
Women who sleep naked have lizards crawl up their vaginas
Image Credit: thoughtcatalog.com
‘What happened to that girl you were seeing?’
‘A lizard crawled into her vagina.’
‘Too bad.’
‘A lizard crawled into her vagina.’
‘Too bad.’
The size of your bollocks can predict your age
Image Credit: pinterest.com
‘Have a feel of my nuts, dude. How old would you say I am?’
’28?’
‘How did you know?’
‘I heard you tell that guy earlier.’
’28?’
‘How did you know?’
‘I heard you tell that guy earlier.’
Wearing a dressing gown outdoors will give your entire family SARS
Image Credit: entertainment.howstuffworks.com
‘Rumour has it Jenny Breakhouse took her bins out this morning. In her dressing gown!’
‘Her family better look out. They are due some next level SARS.’
‘Her family better look out. They are due some next level SARS.’
Horses are bad luck and are consciously trying to injure their riders
Image Credit: lizditz.typepad.com
‘If you ask me, it was a revenge attack. Most actors won’t even go near a horse.’
‘What?’
‘Christopher Reeve.’
‘Damn son.’
‘What?’
‘Christopher Reeve.’
‘Damn son.’
Playing the bass will shorten your dick by up to 6 inches
Image Credit: oneroomwithaview.wordpress.com
‘Steve used to have a 5 inch dick until he picked up that bass.’
‘What happened?’
‘Let’s just say he’s now got a 1 inch vagina.’
‘What happened?’
‘Let’s just say he’s now got a 1 inch vagina.’
See you next Friday the 13th!
By Joe Turner
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.