After the recent announcement of the Facebook dislike button, the FoulENT crew tried to track down Mark Zuckerberg for an interview about his decision to include the long sought after button. We couldn't. However, we did bump into Mark Wahlberg on the way back to the hotel, and it turns out he thinks Facebook is wank as well. Here are 5 features we all thought Facebook should have already done.
Let Me Google That For You
Image Credit: buzzfeed.com
"When I was on the set of The Happening in 2007, the director kept asking me stupid question like 'Do you think this film will do any good at the box office?', 'Have you seen the Sixth Sense?' and 'Are you sure you've been to acting school?'. All of these questions could have been answered with a simple Google search."
Mark is right, there is an abundance of people posting questions on Facebook that they could have copied and pasted into the search bar of Google and instantly gotten their answer. Instead, the selfish cunts clog up our news feeds with their apparent stupidity. Facebook should have put in a feature where all questions instantly redirect you to Google. Would have made everyone's lives easier.
Mark is right, there is an abundance of people posting questions on Facebook that they could have copied and pasted into the search bar of Google and instantly gotten their answer. Instead, the selfish cunts clog up our news feeds with their apparent stupidity. Facebook should have put in a feature where all questions instantly redirect you to Google. Would have made everyone's lives easier.
The Apathizer
Image Credit: emilysposts.com
"When Seth McFarlane was recently promoting Ted 2, I would constantly get tagged in statuses he'd post about how great the movie was. Sadly, there wasn't an outlet to let him know how little I cared and how badly I was phoning it in."
He's right. He did phone it in. Oh, and there should be a big button to show everyone just how little you care about the asinine shit people post on Facebook. You've just eaten a jacket potato, Nick, how fucking riveting.
He's right. He did phone it in. Oh, and there should be a big button to show everyone just how little you care about the asinine shit people post on Facebook. You've just eaten a jacket potato, Nick, how fucking riveting.
Baby Blocker
Image Credit: tosh.cc.com
"Being part of the acting world does have it's downfalls. My long time friend Brad Pitt is fucking annoying on Facebook. Him and his wife keep posting pictures of some kids. I don't think that they're even theirs. One of them looks like Dr Dre."
We've all been there. One of your friends has chronicled their entire pregnancy and now that the sprog has been born, there is a photo for fucking everything. Baby's first clothes, first meal, first walk, first smile, first shit. How about baby's first realisation that nobody cares what the fuck he is upto minute by minute. Think of it like AdBlock but for kids. Your news feed would be so much easier to look at after this.
We've all been there. One of your friends has chronicled their entire pregnancy and now that the sprog has been born, there is a photo for fucking everything. Baby's first clothes, first meal, first walk, first smile, first shit. How about baby's first realisation that nobody cares what the fuck he is upto minute by minute. Think of it like AdBlock but for kids. Your news feed would be so much easier to look at after this.
The Wide Angler
Image Credit: petapixel.com
"Have you ever seen Keira Knightly in person? She is fucking massive!"
Everyone has got a mate who is a bit on the heavier side, and we don't mean emotionally. The thing is, if you're fat, that's fine. Just don't try and kid yourself and others that you aren't. These people employ the classic 'MySpace pose' technique to try and make some of their chins disappear. This proposed feature would allow you to tilt shift a photo to see just how many extra stone these liars are carrying. The camera never lies, after all.
Everyone has got a mate who is a bit on the heavier side, and we don't mean emotionally. The thing is, if you're fat, that's fine. Just don't try and kid yourself and others that you aren't. These people employ the classic 'MySpace pose' technique to try and make some of their chins disappear. This proposed feature would allow you to tilt shift a photo to see just how many extra stone these liars are carrying. The camera never lies, after all.
Britain First Friend Remover
"With a career like mine, you're likely to meet people who you conflict with over certain hot topics. For me, after filming The Other Guys, I met a little known British actor called Steve Coogan. He seemed nice at first, but afterwards he kept on posting shit about 'darkies' from a page called Britain First. What an asshole. We Americans invented racism. Limey thief."
Britain First is the tentpole page on Facebook for knowing if your friends are fucking retarded. If they've liked the page, they're retarded. If they share anything from it, they're fucking retarded. If they're running the page, they want fucking shooting. Either way, if one of your friends has even so much as clicked onto the page, Facebook should be courteous enough to send you a message so you can unfriend the bastards.
Note: Not all retarded people are retarded enough to like Britain First.
Britain First is the tentpole page on Facebook for knowing if your friends are fucking retarded. If they've liked the page, they're retarded. If they share anything from it, they're fucking retarded. If they're running the page, they want fucking shooting. Either way, if one of your friends has even so much as clicked onto the page, Facebook should be courteous enough to send you a message so you can unfriend the bastards.
Note: Not all retarded people are retarded enough to like Britain First.
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.
By The Cunt
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
By Joe Turner
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
