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Another Another 10 Articles We Didn't Write Turbo (30 Days of Stuff)

30/8/2017

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And so we reach the end of the road for another 30 Days of Stuff, and once again we had a bunch of ideas that didn't make the cut for content this time around, for a multitude of reasons that totally wasn't laziness. Here's another 10 things we could have written, but didn't.
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Being White In The Modern World

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Image Credit: civilarab.com
Everyone loves race related content! Okay, nobody enjoys that unless you're the kind of person who likes propagating race issues, and frankly if you're that kind of person you're as far removed from our demographic as you can be. We only really know how to do one thing really well as a writing unit: be white as humanly possible.

Reason We Didn't Write It: It may seem like it is easy being white, but really it is difficult having the expectation of success as a burden on your shoulders. People hate the truth so we didn't write it.
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Vapers: The Real Discriminated Minority

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Image Credit: dailyhive.com
It's fair to say that vaping is looked down upon. It does have it's dedicated audience, yes, but the smoking alternative is often pointed at as a laughable hobby, if you can even call it a hobby. Basically, vapers are the smoking equivalent of vegans; nobody likes them.
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Reason We Didn't Write It:
 Far be it from us to call people to action, but we couldn't knowingly write this article, as we believe people don't discriminate against vapers ENOUGH.
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Vapers or Vegans: Who's Worse?

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Image Credit: ifunny.co
Following that logical threat to it's conclusion, we decided to ask the question: Which one of these discriminated, ridiculed and overall annoying stain-like subcultures are the most embarrassing 'proud' groups out there?

​Reason We Didn't Write It: It's literally impossible to choose.
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Foul Fiction: Joe's First Book​

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Image Credit: J.T. Turner
A little known fact about us is that we got our start running a podcast where we read out bad fan fiction. It's still knocking about somewhere on our SoundCloud, but we'd have to traipse back through three years worth of posts to find them, so you're on your own. Anyway, we were going to rip the piss out of Joe's first book with a dramatic reading. And no, we don't mean The Heart Collector, the first novel by J. T. Turner (The T stands for 'Titanic Penis'), available now on Amazon and other places where e-books are sold. No, we mean his FIRST book. 

Reason We Didn't Write It: Joe's first book is entirely, and I mean ENTIRELY, all jokes about his dick. It's awesome. 11/10 inches.
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Incest: Why You Shouldn't Keep It In The Family

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Image Credit: newsweek.com
Incest has come a long way. It used to be almost commonplace, then it became taboo, then illegal and now we're right back round to commonplace again. If Game of Thrones has taught us anything, it doesn't take long to get people on board with incest, namely around 7 seasons. Thing is, it's gross and leaves people like Jary and Joe with less milfs to bone. Not only is incest a prime cause of being fucked in the head, it's super rank and if it leads to conception, it can lead to one of the biggest and most horrifying birth defects: Looking like you. You ugly fucker.

Reason We Didn't Write It: We were all too busy wanking over SisLovesMe videos. They're class.
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Doctor Who vs Feminism

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Image Credit: denofgeek.com
Some of the more eagle-eyed amongst you might have noticed that there was a big debate on the internet some months back on whether or not a time traveller should have a vagina, or something like that. Anyway, depending on which way you looked at it, the decision to cast Jodie Whittaker as the 13th incarnation of The Doctor was either one of two things: an amazingly brave and sassy killing blow for a seemingly non-existent patriarchy over roles written for blokes, or the beginning of a new Soviet style superstate where men would have their numbers thinned until penises didn't exists anymore. When in reality, people who give a shit about this kind of thing in any way are incredibly fucking sad. Incidentally, it turns out Mike is really, really fucking sad.

Reason We Didn't Write It: Part of us thought it was just too cruel to pit virgins and feminists against each other. They're both depressed, lonely and emotionally unstable. They don't need the fires stoking any more.
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The 10 Best Songs to Kill Yourself To

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Image Credit: psychcentral.com
Suicide is a hot topic these days. People want the right to die with dignity and want to be able to commit suicide legally, whilst some people are David Carradine, and the less said about dignity there, the better. Either way, in an oddly positive move from us, we decided to celebrate people who have identified as dead. Deceased pride is something we're very passionate about. Some of our best friends are dead and we want all kind of people, even people we really hate, to join them! These songs were going to be listed as the best pro-corpse anthems out there.

​Reason We Didn't Write It: The list was all Linkin Park songs, which seems a bit clairvoyant when you think about it.
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What Sean Bean Character Are You?

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Image Credit: cbr.com
Speaking of death, Sean Bean is still alive, unlike his many, MANY characters. Ned Stark, Boromir, Alec Trevelyan, Sharpe, Andy McNab and the voice of the Train Simulator 2015 trailer: Now you can find out which one of these iconic roles you are with the in-depth psychoanalysis of this online quiz!

Reason We Didn't Write It: Every outcome was the same. "You are a dead muddy Yorkshireman, possibly with a beard"
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10 Celebrities Who Have The Potential To Be Murderers

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Image Credit: showbiz411.com
Murder; the best past-time to get up to when you know you can get away with it! This article would have explored the most likely subjects in the A-list celebrity world who could, if they wanted to, hunt the most dangerous game and get away with it.

Reason We Didn't Write It: ​Our lawyers 'T. Omcruise & Associates' advised us this was a bad idea... on pain of death, actually.
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The 10 Best Pieces of American History That's Still Left Standing

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Image Credit: nyt.com
America was initially founded by film director Christopher Columbus in 1984 when he set his film Reckless in a fictional country with very little noteworthy history. Since then, America has flourished into an almost real country that only occasionally still feels like it was put there for a three day shoot. Perhaps it's biggest contribution to the world other than obesity is of course war, and America is no stranger to needlessly and shamelessly gunning down everyone who disagrees and even agrees with them. These proud trigger-happy, monument smashing, car-park paving people love nothing more than to completely forget the past through the medium of violence, and we were ready to celebrate the short list of times when that wasn't the case.

Reason We Didn't Write It: Give it a year and a bunch of angry idiots will have knocked it all down anyway, so why bother?


Why not take a look at the 30 pieces of content we DID make this month?:
Day 1: ​PopScorn - Dunkirk Review
Day 2: 5 Albums That Deserve To Be Movies
Day 3: Gotta Cast 'Em All! - #12: The Pokemon Go Post-Mortem
Day 4: Insert Hype Disc - Why You Should Be Excited for Ready Player One
Day 5: Pop Culture Club - 5 Things That Will Definitely (Maybe) Happen In Avengers: Infinity War
Day 6: Now on YouTube: PopScorn - Baby Driver Review
Day 7: How To Be A Modern Alpha Male
Day 8: A Tribute To Temperance
Day 9: 10 Cult Movies You Must See Before You Die
Day 10: 9 Marvel Characters Who Haven't Joined The MCU Yet
Day 11: Pitch Intense - #1 Pitch The Spider-Man: Homecoming Sequel
Day 12: Foul Fantasy - Transitions Part One
Day 13: Exploring the MillarWorld / Netflix Title Roster
Day 14: 9 DC Characters Who Haven't Joined The DCEU Yet 
Day 15: The 5 Worst Social Networks
Day 16: 5 Types Of People You Meet At Festivals, Part 2
Day 17: Now on Youtube: PopScorn - Wonder Woman Review
Day 18: Foul Fantasy - Transitions Part Two
Day 19: How To Make Robocop 3 Look Like A Masterpiece: A 'Dark Tower' Review
Day 20: Now on YouTube: Pitch Intense - #1 Pitch The Spider-Man: Homecoming Sequel 
Day 21: I Am Broken: 5 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Than Writing This Article
Day 22: PopScorn - War For The Planet Of The Apes Review 
Day 23: Why You Hate Facebook
Day 24: 8-Bittersweet - #1 Interactive Drama Games and Planet Of The Apes: Last Frontier
Day 25: 5 Games You May Never Play
Day 26: Now on YouTube: PopScorn - Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 Review
Day 27: 10 Proverbs For The 21st Century
Day 28: PopScorn - The Defenders Series Review
Day 29: 5 TV Shows That Need Video Game Adaptations
Day 30: Scroll back up, you prick.

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By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen

The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games

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By Frank King
Email Frank

Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs

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By Joe Turner
@apocrypha87

Joe is what many people would refer to as a real piece of shit. He once lied about his whereabouts to get out of helping his friend move house and thinks a lot of blind people are faking it. He once auditioned to be a back up dancer for Shakira.

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