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I Am Broken: 5 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Than Writing This Article (30 Days of Stuff)

21/8/2017

2 Comments

 
I'm not going to lie to you: I am tired of writing. Not in a passive aggressive way, I still love this website and the work I do, but today I am feeling serious burnout. When I talk about cult movies, speculate about superheroes or yell at a cloud because I think something sucks, its because I care about what I'm writing about. And today, I could have shat out a crap topical read about the Solar Eclipse, or football or whatever, but I'm not one to churn out stuff I don't care about, even in 30 Days of Stuff.

So today, I'm just gonna write about stuff I'd rather be doing that writing about stuff. Does that make sense? No. Will it keep me sane? Yes.
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Playing Video Games

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Image Credit: i.ytimg.com
Breaking the habit of a lifetime here, but I have not been gaming nearly as much as I used to. Which is odd, because I haven't stopped buying games. I recently played Use Your Words at a party, a Jackbox-like party game that uses your phones to enter comical movie subtitles and headlines. Truth be told, the future of party games are with the Jackbox model and they rarely get old even after hours of play. They give you ample space to be as weird or offensive as you like, without having to work within the confines of set answers like in Cards Against Humanity. The real beauty comes in the ability to personalise the game, something which the Jackbox games and Use Your Words have done to great effect.

When I couldn't afford the rope to wrangle in some 'friends' however, I've been dipping my toe back into No Mans Sky. Now, I know what you're thinking; Isn't that game an awful boring mess guilty of false advertising? Yes, to the advertising point maybe, but the game has certainly improved since launch. Not only can you explore the 18 quintillion planets as before, but now there's better combat, base building, social multiplayer spaces, an actual story with characters, a graphics boost and a whole other host of general fixes. No longer just an interesting experience, NMS feels like an actual game. I really want to dive headfirst into a space faring adventure rather than typing incessantly about it, but here we are, not doing that.

Between these, the Crash Bandicoot remakes I haven't finished and the constant XP weekends in TitanFall 2 I keep missing, it's fair to say I do wish I was sitting in my pants with a headset on, shooting the shit whilst shooting shit. Or being an orange marsupial. I have strange desires.
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Having A Social Life

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Image Credit: collegiovolta.org
Believe it or not, but this year has probably been my most social in recent years, and maybe even ever. Amazingly, I've tricked enough people to hang out with me that I sometimes have to schedule my time between groups and activities meticulously. It's genuinely fun and heartwarming to feel like no matter where I'm going or who with, I'm gonna have fun. And then, when this time of year rolls around, when I'm normally found trying to force as many pieces of unique content as I can out of my head and onto the internet, that happens less and less. The summer of fun died at the start of August and in all sincerity, I wish it hadn't. I miss random drinks being planned at 10pm, I miss helping friends move, I miss going out without having to think about how it will make a piece of content or how this will cut into my content time. 

And that's just a shitty way to think about life, really; in terms of how it can be transformed and marketed into a piece of media. I can't watch a movie that someone else isn't going to watch because we can't make a podcast out of that. I can't write about an old TV series or movie because Twitter moves too quickly and only cares about the latest Game Of Thrones spoilers. And I sure as hell can't go outside and just do something innocuous like visit a park or whatever because I'm not near a screen to keep up on the latest micro-drama that everyone cares about. Sometimes it makes you just want to throw your phone into the nearest, deepest lake and fuck off all engagement with the digital masses. Still, here we are. Having fun so far?
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Planning My Holiday (Without Fear of Death)

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Image Credit: spaceinyourcase.com
I'm actually going on holiday! Not during 30 Days, mind, but I'm going! And although I'm looking forward to my long break in Barcelona, I can't say I've got anything properly sorted, though. Haven't got my Euros, haven't got a suitable carry-on bag, haven't sorted out my clothes, haven't looked at the tourist stuff or at local stuff I wanna see. 'Cause unfortunately, if I was going to talk about Barcelona, the only thing I've got to talk about my latest holiday destination is goddamn terrorism, because this world is fucked up and wants to be angry at something. Angry people killing other people, making them angry, people getting angry at those people being angry because they're being angry about it wrong, which makes a third unrelated group of people angry because fuck, you gotta be angry about something.

And I hate to make such a light of the troubles of the world, but... come on, fucking look at the world right now. If we don't all laugh once in a while, we're gonna spend the next decade either shouting or crying. And that shit just isn't fun. Besides, it's way easier to mass-market and packages things people should be angry about than just 'hey guise im going to a nice place to have fun k thx'. Fuck, this planet sucks.
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Being A Fat Piece of Shit

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Image Credit: vampyrefangs.files.wordpress.com
I was and probably still am an overweight man. I make no mistakes about that, I could be slimmer. For years, I've forced fat and sugar into my dumb, stupid face with aplomb. But, just before we started this months content spree, I had actually done something I have never done in my life: Start a diet. And for a few weeks, I felt pretty good. I lost a few stone in weight, I felt better, I looked better and, generally, my satisfaction at my progress was reflected in my mood and my work. Everything was hunky goddamn dory, with an emphasis on the 'hunky', for once in my life.

Thing is, coming from a poor dietary background as mine, you kind of have a reliance on associating food with happiness. As soon the immediate weight loss progress dried up, it was hard to distinguish a good week from a bad week in my quest to be less like Jabba the Hutt. I miss good food, Badly. And I don't mean good food in the literal sense, I mean I miss horribly unhealthy food packed with enough chemicals to make a Lidl-brand makeup blush. Perhaps there's a deeper, more chemically based reasoning for my intense drop in enthusiasm, but I'll be willing to be that it's less 'who I am as a person' and more 'a total lack of sweeteners giving me that pep'.

​Yes, I am blaming this shit on food. Because why take responsibility for the shell of a person I am myself?

Writing Something I Care About

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Image Credit: fearfuladventurer.com
This is the problem with my current disenfranchisement; I do care about good writing, good podcasts and good videos. I really do. I want to be proud of every piece of writing I scribe and every show I'm a part of because I always want to give my best. But when I just don't care about the thing I'm writing about, then I'm just phoning it in. And I guess that's a good piece of advice for any writer out there struggling with the same block and lack of drive I am: Don't force it. People will be able to tell. Especially you. 

We started two great new podcasts this month, Pitch Intense and 8BitterSweet (coming later this week) from a desire to something different and something we cared about. Pitch Intense opened with a topic that myself and Darren care deeply about and 8BitterSweet will open with one of the most heated debates I think we've ever platformed on this site. THAT is what is exciting to me. A talking point, a spark of enthusiasm, the cathartic feeling of releasing a long-stewed idea, SUBSTANCE. INTRIGUE. FUN.

All things that I am just not feeling during this 30 Days. And I don't want to shit over anyone's excellent work this month, we've shown that even at our worst, as a team, we're often better than some peoples best. I'm just not happy giving you my worst.

But hey, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, with more content. But this time, with some enthusiasm.

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By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen

The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games

2 Comments
academic writing sites link
30/8/2017 06:54:40 am

You shouldn't stress yourself too much about this blog. You have to live your life the way you want to. If you overwork yourself with writing, you're not truly living your life. You're committing to something that doesn't excite you. If I may advise you, do something that will get you up in the morning and sleep peacefully at night.

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SpeedyPaper link
15/2/2018 10:35:04 am

Ah, you're so right. I would definitely do any of those things instead of writing this comment right now. But the life is so much bigger than just our wishes. I thinks it's really bad. You can't never gain than mythical work life balance when you work so much(

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