Facebook is a huge part of everyone's life in the modern world. Possibly because it's the most efficient way to judge a huge number of people without having to leave your bed. Oddly enough that is how Jary spends his Saturdays. There seems to have been a public backlash against Facebook in recent times though. No matter who you speak to they all seem to say, I hate Facebook. Here's why.
Everyone You Hate Is Your Friend
You see on your friend list? There is a list of about 350 people or so. You like 22 of them. It's an almost impossible to resist impulse to accept the friend request of someone who you have always hated on Facebook. You think, "Oh I will just have a look and then delete them." but you don't. You keep them there forever, then you aim passive aggressive statuses at them about how awesome things are for you. It doesn't matter that Bobby two necks bullied you at primary school, he works at the beach now selling novelty hats. Not a good beach either, Great Yarmouth beach. Every time you post about your awesome new job, it's aimed at him. It makes you hate yourself. So you tell everyone you hate Facebook.
Some People You Hate Do Really Well
WHAT THE FUCK? BOBBY TWO NECKS HAS SOLD HIS HAT BUSINESS FOR TEN MILLION? Yeah, that's another reason you hate Facebook. You see the success of people you hate. They don't deserve it, you do. You see the constant success of everyone else. So you tell everyone you hate Facebook.
Your Ex Girlfriend Is On There
Well would you look at that, she's a million times more attractive than she used to be. Hold on, is she dating Bobby two necks? Holy crap, their kids look amazing. And doesn't she look happy. It's always hard to see an ex who dumped you, who you've never gotten over and she's dating someone you hate. So you tell everyone you hate Facebook.
It's A Mirror Into Your Depression
It's all self loathing really. You have no real reason to hate Bobby two necks. Sure he stole your bobble hat when you were 9 and he is pumping your ex missus. The first is a minor indiscretion at most and the second one isn't really anything bad at all. No, you don't hate him. You don't even hate Facebook really. You hate yourself, you pathetic mess. So you tell everyone you hate Facebook.
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