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Another Another 10 Articles We Didn't Write (30 Days Of Stuff)

30/11/2016

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As is tradition for when we do 30 Days Of Stuff, we plan out a huge number of articles to satisfy the thirst that you people have, but never quite get around to writing all of them. Either other things come up in their place, or sometimes the idea is just so good that it needs to remain here forever, untarnished by one of us actually writing it. So here for your delectation is 'Another Another 10 Articles We Didn't Write'
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5 Ways Being Gay Rules And One Way It Sucks

This was to be a guest article from Frank's incredibly gay Dad, Por. Unfortunately the one way it sucks finally got to him. AIDS.

10 Women Who Have Blocked Me On Whatsapp

According to Jary, shagging twenty birds at once is like eating a "tits omelette with a vagina side salad", and everyone knows that if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few eggs. "Once I've chucked my muck up a bird I usually stop texting them, unless I need something like a PS4 pad or a lasagna tray. Once they realise I've used them and don't want to speak to them ever again they usually end up blocking me, but it's not like they can un-fuck me."

Bernie vs Colonel: Battle Of The Sanders

I'm not very good at politics. All year I've been convinced that Jesse Ventura was going to steal the Presidential crown at the last minute, but apparently the American electoral system doesn't follow "WWE rules". Ever since this revelation I stopped following politics. What's the point?

The Top 5 People Named Randy

Sometimes I go round my mom's house and tell her I wish she was dead. Why? Because she didn't name me Randy. The best people ever to have lived have all been called Randy and I would have been one of them if my name was Randy but it isn't. Not only does the word roll effortlessly off the tongue, but it's a also synonym for having an erection.

Things I'm Sick Of - Your Shit

This was supposed to be a list of ten things which I'm sick of but it turns out I've already bitched about them several times already. Bacon was on the list, according to my notes, so was Star Wars and "too long conversations". I also wrote something about "corner shop vibes" but I'm not sure what that is. Do you know what I'm talking about? If so, drop me an email at foulentertainmentuk@gmail.com.

Middle Bits

As a society we are so focussed on beginnings and ends that we don't stop to pay tribute to the forgotten heroes - middle bits. The Sega Saturn was the ultimate middle bit because it was the gap between the Mega Drive 2 and the Xbox. Without the Saturn we would not have had hidden gems such as Panzer Dragoon, Fighters Destiny, Fighters Destiny 2 and of course, Fighters Destiny 3.

Places I've Vaped

B&Q, Morrisons, an unlicenced taxi, my mom's garage, a high rise block of flats, a high stakes poker game, the Warner Bros studios, a seedy bar in Tamworth, your mom's living room, the Novotel in Cardiff, outside Frank King's house because he takes ages to answer the door, Tussauds, on the back of a moped, a Dave Matthews Band concert, etc.

5 Famous Women With Restraining Orders Against Me

This one is quite self-explanatory. We're committed at Foul Ent to protecting the anonymity of anyone we talk about so we would never actually mention the real names of people we know or even worse, subtely hide references to them anywhere on this site. Therefore this can make it difficult when we're trying to talk about the top quality fanny who have taken legal precautions against my friend Jary. In the end, we decided it was just best to keep quiet about the famous birds Jary has lamped one into.

6 Books I've Read and 130 Million I Haven't

If there's one thing I wish I could have learnt sooner it's that reading is a waste of time. It's 2016 and we all have calculators in our pockets just like our old maths teachers said we wouldn't. It's only a matter of time before Mark Wahlberg invents a device which reads for us as well. With that in mind, Frank was going to do a list of books he's read but I'm not sure if they count.

Plenty of Catfish: Killer Whale Edition

Fishing is one the manliest pastimes there is. It combines unneccessary cruelty with the competitive edge which every red-blooded male possesses. There's nothing more satisfying than catching a fish which is not only larger than every fish your mate has caught, but larger than your head. This is what happened when I recently went catfishing on good old Plenty of Fish. I ended up catching a Shamu in a river full of Nemos. Watch this space for hot goss.

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By Joe Turner
@apocrypha87

​Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.

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By Frank King
Email Frank

Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.

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By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen

The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games

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