Since we started this website several years ago, the only people we’ve collaborated have been ourselves. This is mostly because no one else is worth collaborating with. We’ve had some guest articles over the years and they’ve all been awesome, but we’ve never really ventured out of the realm of comedy articles. However, I’m going to tell you all a 100% true story which happened recently.
Myself, Frank King and Mike were all in a pub getting tanked up on liquor when some vegans came in and tried to bullshit us. We were minding our own business getting our juice on when they started throwing some shade in our direction. If this wasn’t bad enough, a bunch of pyramid scheme-preachers then walk in too and started giving us even more shit about how we could earn £2000 a week working from home selling vitamin supplements. One by one, every subculture who we’d ripped on came in and surrounded us. Feminists, hippies, students, politicians, Dave Matthews Band, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. We were outnumbered.
It was at this moment I looked across the bar and locked eyes with a lone drinker named Dale Cooper. Dale downed his tumbler of whiskey and slammed down his empty glass. The barman asked us what we were having and we all said “Four Horsemen” at the same time. It was at this moment that the four of us proceeded to beat the shit out of everyone else in the bar. Tables were broken, glass was smashed, liquor was consumed. At one point I turned around saw Frank King clothesline a man so hard he became a woman. Unfortunately, the woman was still a hipster, so I had to glass her to put her out of her misery.
At the point that everyone else in the bar was either paralyzed, decapitated or impregnated, we sat down with Dale and thought it would be a good idea to collaborate on something. Since we are all real men, the conversation quickly turned to crap. What if there was a website dedicated to keeping you entertained specifically while you’re dropping logs? That’s a site I’ve been searching for my whole life and I haven’t found a suitable contender yet.
Buzzfeed? No thanks, I don’t care about seeing pictures of animals on skateboards because I’m not a child. Cracked? You will have shit out your intestines by the time you’ve read this fan theory about Harry Potter which changes everything (spoiler alert: it doesn’t).
It was at this moment I looked across the bar and locked eyes with a lone drinker named Dale Cooper. Dale downed his tumbler of whiskey and slammed down his empty glass. The barman asked us what we were having and we all said “Four Horsemen” at the same time. It was at this moment that the four of us proceeded to beat the shit out of everyone else in the bar. Tables were broken, glass was smashed, liquor was consumed. At one point I turned around saw Frank King clothesline a man so hard he became a woman. Unfortunately, the woman was still a hipster, so I had to glass her to put her out of her misery.
At the point that everyone else in the bar was either paralyzed, decapitated or impregnated, we sat down with Dale and thought it would be a good idea to collaborate on something. Since we are all real men, the conversation quickly turned to crap. What if there was a website dedicated to keeping you entertained specifically while you’re dropping logs? That’s a site I’ve been searching for my whole life and I haven’t found a suitable contender yet.
Buzzfeed? No thanks, I don’t care about seeing pictures of animals on skateboards because I’m not a child. Cracked? You will have shit out your intestines by the time you’ve read this fan theory about Harry Potter which changes everything (spoiler alert: it doesn’t).
Enter TOILETERATURE.
We all have experiences of fiction writing, albeit in different ways. Dale is an author and runs a successful blog. Frank is somewhat of a truth embellisher, Mike is somewhat of a fiction enthusiast, and I write about seducing women for a living. With our combined efforts, we have created something that’s different from our usual outlets. Every entry is a short story ranging from 300-1200 words. Some of it is funny and stupid, some of it is dark and depressing, and all of it is good reading.
Want to read some bad ass fiction? Want to see who isn’t any good at fiction but tries anyway? Want to see who harbours deep emotional resentment and subconsciously expresses it in the form of stories about sex addiction? Click the above toilet to answer to any questions you asked, and several you didn't.
Our respective sites won't be going anywhere. After all, Mike needs somewhere to jack off over video games and I need the traffic revenue to keep me in condoms (which I won't use). Come and check us out.
Want to read some bad ass fiction? Want to see who isn’t any good at fiction but tries anyway? Want to see who harbours deep emotional resentment and subconsciously expresses it in the form of stories about sex addiction? Click the above toilet to answer to any questions you asked, and several you didn't.
Our respective sites won't be going anywhere. After all, Mike needs somewhere to jack off over video games and I need the traffic revenue to keep me in condoms (which I won't use). Come and check us out.
By Joe Turner
@apocrypha87
Joe is one of our columnists at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish, Friday The 12th, and rarely has a good word to say about anything other than breasts. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances and is responsible for the artistic design in our games.
@apocrypha87
Joe is one of our columnists at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish, Friday The 12th, and rarely has a good word to say about anything other than breasts. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances and is responsible for the artistic design in our games.