Secondly, unless you’re 13, drinking isn’t an achievement. I drink every day because I can, and you know who I tell? Nobody. Not only do I drink every day, but I drink actual liquor, not fruity juice bullshit which tastes like piss water from a prison toilet. The people who frequently make a point of their drinking habits simply want the stigma of being a heavy drinker to have a direct effect on their personalities. Or more accurately, their lack of personalities. I don’t need that stigma, because I’m fairly happy with who I am regardless of how much whiskey I drink. Life is short, and it can be difficult to create a unique personality in a world run by celebrities. The Prosecco Personality is a shortcut to having achieved a personality without actually having to do the work.
Lastly, this is the thing that pisses me off the most: you probably don’t even drink it very often. I’ve touched on Facebook image crafting before and this is no different. In fact, it reminds me of Apple zealots. People who think that owning every iPod, iPhone, iPad, iPencil, iWatch and iMigrant gives them some kind of personality trait only shared by other Apple fanboys. It doesn’t. What phone you have doesn’t dictate your personality. Neither does your drinking schedule. Personality is formed by opinions, experiences, outlooks, philosophies, ideas and which of my articles you think is the best. Except that last one is a trick because they’re all the best.
Take home message: shut up.
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.