Foul ENT

  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact

The Top Five Conspiracy Theories You Have Never Heard Of

9/7/2015

2 Comments

 
I love conspiracy theories I do. There is nothing better than reading why the twin towers definitely weren't blown up by planes and why President Obama is actually Sarah Palin blacked up. We all know the classics, but what about the smaller ones that fall through the cracks? These five conspiracy theories are the conspiracy theories that conspiracy theorists conspiracy theorise about.
Picture

1. Dr Dre Isn't Real

We all know Dr Dre. That fun loving scamp, that rascal inventor of gangsters. The guy who sold some truly overpriced ear phones to Apple. Did you know though, that he didn't exist? In the late 80s Eric Roll, the chairman of the steering committee for the Bilberberg Group decided that they needed something else to keep black people down. Not content with inventing crack and having the police shoot them for no reason, they needed something else. They came up with Dr Dre. Every time it looks like black people are going to stop shooting each other in the projects, Dr Dre manages to get even richer. Have you ever wondered why? It's so that the gangsta rap lifestyle remains a goal. If Dre can make it, so can I. Have you ever noticed how Obama and Dr Dre have never been seen at the same time? Think about it sheeple.
Picture
Image Credit: giphy.com

2. Dancing Was Invented By The Banks

In the 1800s people weren't spending enough money. They spent within their means, there was no need for loans, or banks. The Rothschilds were going under, they had been born with a natural predilection for not working and they didn't want to start. They needed a way to increase their fortune without lifting a fucking finger. So they invented dancing. I know what you're thinking, how does dancing increase spending? It increases spending because no-one can dance sober. The poor of the world began spending all of their money on booze. They got drunker and drunker, danced more and more and the Rothschilds became the head of the Illumninati. Think this is bullshit? Just look at your bank balance after a night out. Every single emergency overdraft fee you have ever spent is testament to how dancing is the bankers dream.
Picture
Image Credit: sensibility.com

3. Anti-Vaccine Campaigners were Invented by the Government

It's well known that the world is becoming over crowded. The Government have tried a lot of things to get rid of people, like hurricanes and explosions. They have worked, but only in small doses. They needed a new way to murder hordes of people. So they invented the anti-vaccine movement. From their point of view, it is a genius move. The only people who will believe it are fucking idiots. So the only people who will die from the multitude of diseases they are not protected from are fucking idiots. Remember, the next time you see an anti-vaccer they probably have whooping cough and will be dead soon.

4 - Religion is actually One Big Practical Joke

Years and years ago, two blokes, Jesus and Christ, got monumentally pissed on top of a rock. The basic gist of it was, Jesus would go around showing off his magic skills and when people started to get cynical Christ would pretend to be a leper and Jesus would cure him. They roped in their friend Mary who pretended to be a virgin and it all got a bit out of hand, when again Jesus got smashed on some wine and threw over some tables. Long story short, the Bloombergs thought it was a good idea to turn it into a monetisation exercise. 2000 years later The Pope says it is wrong to use rubbers. 

5 - Vernon Kay is a Fucking Dickhead

I know what you're thinking, he's got such a lovely smile. He is great on Family Fortress or whatever that shit is. But no, it's true. He is a fucking dickhead. Unleashed by the government to make you feel better about yourself. It's like when you walk past a man with no legs, you feel shit for him, you want to help him, but apart from chucking him a few quid there isn't much you can do. Vernon Kay is like that, except he doesn't need your help, but people keep throwing money at him. You shouldn't, he's a fucking dickhead, placed here by the Government to make you lower your standards and keep Graham Norton and Jonathan Ross on the telly.
Picture
Image Credit: dystopianfuchsia.com


Don't just discount these. The truth is out there. In the words of Catatonia "Tom Jones, Tom Jones. I never threw my knickers at you, and I don't come from Wales"

Picture

2 Comments
Hippo
5/10/2015 03:30:01 am

Is this just a joke or some is really your opinion?
Like the comments about the anti-vaccine topic: "The only people who will believe it are fucking idiots."

Reply
The Cunt link
5/10/2015 11:28:36 pm

Yes. I definitely wrote that. I also definitely believe it. All anti-vaccers are fucking idiots. They all also have whooping cough and cholera.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Blogs

    You can find all of our articles right here. Use the menus below to sort by date, author or series.

    Also, click the buttons below to explore our social network antics.

    Articles

    All
    30 Days Of Stuff
    5 Days With...
    Articles By Abdurahman
    Articles By Darren
    Articles By Frank King
    Articles By Jary
    Articles By Joe
    Articles By Mike
    Ask Jary
    Code Club
    Danke-bitte
    Deaf To All But Metal
    Death Of Video Games
    E3 2015
    E3 2016
    Foul Fantasy Devblog
    Foul-To's
    Friday The 12th
    General Foulection
    Jary Files
    Plenty Of Catfish
    Podcasts
    Pop Culture Club
    Rider Report
    Site News
    Star Wars Week
    #Tagurday
    WWE Stats 2019

    Archives

    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

© Foul Entertainment, 2015 - 2022
​
​