Alright, here are my cards on the table before we begin: Splatoon is fucking awesome. I genuinely hope that it’s the start of a bustling franchise for Nintendo. I want more already and I haven’t even finished the first one. It’s that good. But setting aside my gushing for a second, let’s talk shooters.
They’re fucking boring, right? Yearly Call of Duty and Battlefield titles have taken the shine away from them. The last good one was Call of Duty 4 and that came out in 2007. You know what else was popular in 2007? Wii Sports and Avril Lavigne. It was fucking ages ago and literally shit all has changed in 8 years.
They’re fucking boring, right? Yearly Call of Duty and Battlefield titles have taken the shine away from them. The last good one was Call of Duty 4 and that came out in 2007. You know what else was popular in 2007? Wii Sports and Avril Lavigne. It was fucking ages ago and literally shit all has changed in 8 years.
Splatoon, on the other hand, is a shooter that isn’t stale. It’s another example of Nintendo revolutionising a genre. This is what happens when Ninty actually get off their arse and do something other than rehashing 2D Mario games all the while. I did plan to do an article on why shooter games were slowly killing mainstream gaming, but then Splatoon happened. So here’s how Splatoon fixed the shooting genre.
Match Length
All matches in Splatoon last only three minutes. This beautiful way of separating matches give you a constant refresh of gameplay. It’s never a slog to play Splatoon, because if a match goes badly, you aren’t locked into it forever, or until an arbitrary objective is achieved. It’s three minutes of mayhem which ends with either happy or sad music.
Image Credit: technobuffalo.com
Didn’t go well? Try again, it’s only three minutes. Things went swimmingly? See if you can keep it up, there might be a bit of bonus cash and experience in it if you can keep turning the tide of battle. The setup is wonderfully addictive, both in regular and ranked matches. It really is a game that leaves you saying “Just one more match”.
Turf War
The main objective of Splatoon is not to garner kills, killstreaks and medal. It’s merely to cover the ground with your colour of ink. That’s it. Sure, you CAN kill people, but you receive no points for doing so. At best, you gain about 4 to 5 seconds of uncontested ink splashing before that player is back on the field.
Image Credit: splatoon.wikia.com
Teams seeking merely to kill the other players end up costing their teams the match, meaning the frustration that comes from constant respawns and cooldown timers of modern shooter fare is left behind here in favour of quicker action focusing on map domination over ‘pwning n00bs’.
Single Player
Not only does the single player serve as a fantastic way to learn how to manoeuvre and dominate in the multiplayer modes, it’s essential to play it in order to unlock all 30+ weapons in the game, most of which serve as the ‘best’ weapons in the game. The story and lore of the single player is very, very thin, but it’s soon forgotten when you’re dashing about the linear levels with relative ease as you learn how to be a better Inkling. Sure, it’s not The Last of Us, but the single player in Splatoon is enjoyable, useful and fruitful. In a multiplayer online shooter, that is so very, very rare these days.
Image Credit: gamezone.com
I do really love the whole ‘squid vs octopus’ thing it has going on. Like I say, it’s not thick lore, but the character and enemy models are all really nice and the boss bottles are pretty fun too, if very Mario-esque. You know that I mean. Do X three times then win. No matter, though, it’s not broken, so no need to fix it.
Customisation
The meat and bones of what makes Splatoon so highly competitive comes from its customisation. You have the aforementioned weapons, over 30 of them, which break down into one of three main types: splatters, rollers and chargers. Then, to be the best you have to be the freshest. To be fresh, you need cool clothes. Whilst it’s a poor message for kids, it’s absolutely necessary in order to be a main contender in ranked matches. Each article of clothing you wear, be it a cap, t-shirt or pair of Doc Ock Martens (I’m so sorry), comes with a set of buffs. More damage, more durability, faster sprint and swim speeds. It all adds up to give players a choice of play style to suit them. You could go for the swift option with a weapon with a high rate of fire, or tank it with a charging launcher and improved durability.
Image Credit: technobuffalo.com
Of course, things are evened out with the addition of random skills. That’s right, in order to keep a level playing field, all gear has one skill you can select and between one and three that are randomly generated upon levelling up. It serves well to keep things fresh, and does encourage further player beyond getting all the weapons, in order to have a wardrobe to suit all your favourite play styles.
Buckets of Charm
Look at this game. Just look at it. This game oozes character out of every pore… or sucker. Whatever, it looks awesome
Image Credit: playeressence.com
The stylised cartoon visuals lend awesomely to Nintendo’s long-living dedication to cute, colourful and character-filled aesthetic. The Inklings are adorable; they emote well, you can dress them up in cute outfits and are generally a visually pleasing thing to control. The maps, whilst pretty symmetrical, do have elements of charming design, like posters with weird squid language written on them. And then there’s Callie and Marie, your gateway to multiplayer info, and adorably ditzy idols of the squid world. They’re sickeningly cute. As is everything else. It is hard to describe in greater detail the charm of the game. All you really can say is “It’s a Nintendo game, duh!”.
Tired of shooters of recent years? I reckon Splatoon just might be the thing to reel you back in. It’s a wonderful online experience, especially as a first time experiment. If you own a Wii U, you need to own this. If you don’t own a Wii U, I couldn’t say buy one just to play this, but you should take every opportunity you’re presented with to play it. This game is, most certainly, worth going squids-in for…. I’m so sorry.
Tired of shooters of recent years? I reckon Splatoon just might be the thing to reel you back in. It’s a wonderful online experience, especially as a first time experiment. If you own a Wii U, you need to own this. If you don’t own a Wii U, I couldn’t say buy one just to play this, but you should take every opportunity you’re presented with to play it. This game is, most certainly, worth going squids-in for…. I’m so sorry.
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.