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Why Dapper Laughs Is A Weeping Pussy

18/10/2015

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I don't like Dapper Laughs brand of comedy. I think it's poor and relies on catchphrases to gain a laugh. That's not why I'm going to rip into him though, there are a lot of comedians I don't like for varying reasons and I won't attack them personally, their craft maybe, but not them as people. Dapper Laughs however is a different kettle of fish, because he is a hypocritical whining pussy. 
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Image Credit: twitcelebgossip,com
I know it might seem a bit rich that the site that gave Jary a platform to air his views, attacking what many of you may think is the same character. He's not though, I don't want to break your illusions or anything, but Jary is an amalgamation of me, Joe and Gasher. Not in our personalities, but we write him. He is us, and he is written as a satirical vehicle. He is not aimed at the same audience as Dapper Laughs, he is mocking that audience. 

Dapper as his friends call him, is not. He portrays himself as one of the lads. He attacks your senses with a series of catchphrases, hoping you'll laugh at the fact he is talking about shagging. Moving from one unrelated topic to the next, just waiting for the opportunity to say moist. Jary doesn't do that, it took time to craft the Schrodinger's pussy gag. 

Part of what gets me so worked up about this is a bit of what I would call Cartman syndrome, people see what he does and see what we write and equate them to one and the same. That couldn't be further from the truth. He's shit and we're not. 

But that's all personal, as a bloke outside of his comedy persona he might be perfectly likable. He is however, a principle ditching, crying pussy. He created his character, he went with it and ( credit where it is due ) he made it a nationwide sensation. He received some flack for his rape "joke" and he went on newsnight and cried like a bitch. 
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Image Credit: Daily Mail ( Who are cunts )
That's not something we would ever do, we stand by everything we do. That's where my dislike grew. Why suddenly go against all of your work? Denounce it publicly while struggling to hold back your tears. Why do that if you believed in it enough to work hard enough to get yourself a television show? He destroyed all of his integrity as an artist with that move. He cried and apologised and everyone forgot about him.
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Image Credit: Daily Star
It gets worse though. Everyone forgot about Dapper. We were settling down to watch new sophisticated comedy, like this, when he reared his head again. With a brand new character!

No, I'm fucking with you, he brought back Dapper Laughs. With a 50 shades of grey parody. It's not the best to be honest, he spouts random nonsense at an incredulous looking lady for a while, making sure he says 'moist' and 'proper moist' a few times. 

And this ladies and gentlemen is what put the final nail in the coffin for me. He publicly denounced his work, on a pretty big show. Then as soon as all the hassle went away, he brought it back. Then blamed it all on the media. How they made it all happen. 

People make much worse taste jokes than Dapper does, people make much worse quality jokes than Dapper does. The difference is they all stand by their work. They don't back away from it, almost cry on national television and then run straight back to it as soon as they can. 

My theory? He went away, tried to think of something new and couldn't. So he came back with the same thing he did before and a plan to blame everyone else for his inability to coherently defend his work. Because he is a massive, weeping pussy.

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By The Cunt
Email The Cunt

A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.​​

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