What Kind of Stupid Online Personality Test Should You Take?

In case you haven't noticed, Facebook and Twitter are quite popular things. You can't go anywhere without people taking pictures of themselves and their children for the whole world and The Pope to see. There are a lot of things that piss me off about Facebook. Hell, I'm not the only one. What is really making me consider mass infanticide, is ridiculous online personality tests.

The most common one I have seen recently is the “what does you name say about you?” quiz. There is only one thing your name says about you; what you are named.

I'm fed up of seeing scores of these fucking things, saying things befitting a dead person like, “Your name is Oscar, you are athletic, handsome and likely to get legless and murder your girlfriend in the bathroom”. Typically, shit like that is followed by “OMG dat is soooooo tru” because obviously the word 'so' needs more letters and the word 'true' needs less. I struggle to deal with things like this; the part of me that is on the autistic spectrum wants to dismember these people so they can't breed. Unfortunately, once you hit the age of 16, you can't solve your problems with violence, although if you want to there are handy guides out there. So I have to do what most people do with their problems: Deal with it in silence, underpinned by a seething rage.

Image Credit: i1.kym-cdn.com

So, we've established that I hate this shit. We've also established that I can't do a fucking thing about it. My Grandfather always said to me “Don't eat that, I had to suck eight dicks to get hold of stuff that good”, but he also said “If you can't beat them, join them”, so I have. 


Here is my stupid fucking online personality test.

Q1 - Do You Believe In...

Image Credit: s1.favim.com

A) Ghosts
B) Psychics
C) Fate
D) Nothing

Q2 - How Often Do You Take Online Tests?

Image Credit: roleaffinity.com

A) Every time I see one
B) Every other time I see one
C) I did one once
D) Never

Q3 - What Kind of Person Are You?

Image Credit: portlandmercury.com

A) A warm, loving and well meaning soul
B) Generally nice but if you cross me I am mean
C) I step over anyone in front of me
D) Fucking shut up

Q4 - Do You Find It Easy to Introduce Yourself to New People?

Image Credit: industrialbrand.com

A) Well, I er, don't really know
B) I can talk to anyone. I will talk to you.
C) I can if I'm pissed
D) Fuck off

RESULTS

Mostly (A)
You are the type of fucking troglodyte that actually believes this kind of shit. You're never going to amount to anything in your life. You will definitely die alone, unless you own cats.

Mostly (B)
You are the type of fucking troglodyte that actually believes this kind of shit. You're never going to amount to anything in your life. You will definitely die alone, unless you own cats.

Mostly (C)
You are the type of fucking troglodyte that actually believes this kind of shit. You're never going to amount to anything in your life. You will definitely die alone, unless you own cats.

Mostly (D)
You are worse than all of the others. You pretend you don't like all of this shit, yet you still did the stupid fucking test. You make me sick.


Remember, if you do these stupid personality tests, the only thing it actually tells you, is you don't have a personality.

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By The Cunt
Email The Cunt

A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.

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