I don't know if you know me, but I'm a cunt. Well, THE Cunt. It's what people call me. Not just for shock value though, I'm a genuinely terrible person. However, sometimes there are people who leave me open mouthed with disgust. People who do things so despicable that I stop beating next doors kids... for a few minutes anyway. So, without further ado, here is my five point guide to being a bigger cunt than me.
1. Moan About Racism At The Oscars.
Image Credit: vladtv.com
I don't want to be a cunt (well... I do) but let's be honest here; black people are a minority in America. Hence, they are a minority in the Oscar nominations. I don't want to get into all of that though really. No, what I want to get into is the complete pointlessness of the whole exercise. Will Smith and his utterly awful at acting wife started this all off. She is so bad at acting that she wouldn't get an oscar nomination if she was in a biopic about her life, playing herself. Will Smith, however, is thoroughly good at acting. If this was the year Ali came out and he hadn't got a nomination he would genuinely have a point. However, nothing he did this past year was any good and he wasn't any good in any of it. So he should keep his stupid oversized mouth shut.
BUT that's not even what I'm getting at! No, my point why all of this makes people cunts? Instead of moaning about how a bunch of very well off black people are being slighted by not being recognised by their peers, why not be pissed off that the price of the ceremony, the money spent on advertisers, the awards themselves and everything else that comes with it could have made a bit of a dent in helping some black people who really need it. Like I dunno, Africa for example.
BUT that's not even what I'm getting at! No, my point why all of this makes people cunts? Instead of moaning about how a bunch of very well off black people are being slighted by not being recognised by their peers, why not be pissed off that the price of the ceremony, the money spent on advertisers, the awards themselves and everything else that comes with it could have made a bit of a dent in helping some black people who really need it. Like I dunno, Africa for example.
2. Sell Pyramid Scheme Junk To Your Friends.
This isn't new ground I'm treading here. We've covered this before. What I didn't cover so much last time was that the people who try to sell this junk also try to get their friends involved. How much of a cunt do you have to be to be willing to extort money from your friends and family, just to try and make a little extra scratch?
That woman that I wrote about before, banging on about Forever Living? The bubble burst, she lost about £600 in the end. Good.
Dragging your friends into this kind of shit makes you almost as deplorable as the bloke who stole 40 grand from his friends and family. Legally, that is all I am allowed to mention. Due to the court order against me discussing what I was charged with.
That woman that I wrote about before, banging on about Forever Living? The bubble burst, she lost about £600 in the end. Good.
Dragging your friends into this kind of shit makes you almost as deplorable as the bloke who stole 40 grand from his friends and family. Legally, that is all I am allowed to mention. Due to the court order against me discussing what I was charged with.
3. Selling Homeopathic 'Medicine'.
Image Credit: sciencebasedpharmacy.wordpress.com
Let me get this straight right here and now. This is nothing but placebos. That is all it is. It is giving misplaced hope to the most desperate of people for five fucking quid a pop. Don't get me wrong, that's not a huge amount of money. But when you consider it is just water, and for about 20ml of it for that matter, how can anyone justify that? Anyone who tells you that bottled water is a rip off has obviously never bought a cancer cure from a hippy. If you don't believe that this shit exists, just read this and then apologise for not trusting me. Anyone who sells homeopathic remedies is as bad as a psychic. Which if you are a psychic then you should know exactly how bad that makes you!
4. Refusing Vaccinations For Your Children.
Image Credit: news.addictinginfoent.netdna-cdn.com
Let's say for the sake of argument that vaccinations do give people autism. They don't, they definitely don't, but let's say they do. Let's say as well that the 0.001% of people who got vaccinations and then claimed to have been injured by them were all genuine and not just chancers trying to steal some easy cash. They definitely are, but let's say they aren't, just for arguments sake. Let's pretend all of that is true. Even if that is the case, isn't it worth taking that risk so your child won't die a horrible meningitis death? You know, like this poor kid. These cunts are a three pronged cunt assault, by the way. Not only did they not vaccinate the child (who was young enough not to be able to talk, so unable to tell them how he was feeling), they tried to treat him homeopathically. Then, as if all of that wasn't enough, they waited until he stopped breathing to call an ambulance.
I need to have a licence to watch television but these cunts can spurt forth crotch fruit at the drop of a hat? I don't advocate any kind of violence against people, but these cunts should be held down and beaten severely. Not only that, but I was wrong before, they are four pronged cunts, because after their child died (arguably (definitely) through their actions), they have set up multiple crowd funding accounts and made a really disgusting Facebook post begging for money to allow them to continue selling placebos to idiots. Here's a tip; if you really want to die, then definitely partake in their 'medicine'. Or a cheaper option would be to eat dog shit you find in the street. Just don't put your kids lives in danger. It's not their fault that they were sired by utter fucking morons of the highest order.
I need to have a licence to watch television but these cunts can spurt forth crotch fruit at the drop of a hat? I don't advocate any kind of violence against people, but these cunts should be held down and beaten severely. Not only that, but I was wrong before, they are four pronged cunts, because after their child died (arguably (definitely) through their actions), they have set up multiple crowd funding accounts and made a really disgusting Facebook post begging for money to allow them to continue selling placebos to idiots. Here's a tip; if you really want to die, then definitely partake in their 'medicine'. Or a cheaper option would be to eat dog shit you find in the street. Just don't put your kids lives in danger. It's not their fault that they were sired by utter fucking morons of the highest order.
5. Destroy And Demonise Junior Doctors.
Image Credit: telegraph.co.uk
There is a reason Jeremy Hunt is used as rhyming slang. There are numerous fantastic political bloggers who have written at length on this subject. They have researched their facts and gone into a lot of detail about why what he has done is wrong. What they haven't done however is say this: Jeremy Hunt is a massive fucking cunt. End of discussion.
By The Cunt
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.