Anyway, on to your letters.
Love Me Tinder
Hugh Hefner, 37 (you lying bastard)
Anyway lad, you don't need Tinder, just get yourself out there, find some daft council bird wearing a knock off Playboy tracksuit and tell her your name is Hugh Hefner. When she asks who that is, show her your driving licence she will be so impressed that you actually have a licence she will let you get your oats.
Tug Of War
If you have any trouble with your shagging, or maybe a cock disease or something, then just give me a shout on the old email. Or send me a message on Twitter. I might even stop railing your missus.