The thing with showing off your member is you either needed half a teacake or you needed to strap a cucumber to your leg before you went out. If you didn't you just looked like Tom Cruise standing next to The Rock. The wrestler, not the film.
“Alright bab?” I enquired with a cheeky glint in my eye. I knew then that it was going to be a battle, so I threw out my best line.
“Did you grow them tits yourself? They're fucking massive, I would love to lamp one right in between them bad boys. Did you know I used to be a soldier?”
Needless to say, she came home with me.
In early 2004 me and Tone met a bird at a bird sanctuary. Now we didn't know that it meant feathery birds and not birds with tits, but anyway I digress. She promised us a threesup the next day, but then that evening she met fucking Seal and ended up marrying him! All we need is that Time Machine, give him a good clubbing and Tone's your uncle! We get our threesome with Heidi FUCKING Klum! I've never forgiven Seal, for that or for Kiss From a Rose!
The link below.
Until next time, keep on shagging. And fuck Seal.
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Jary is one of the stars of Foul Fantasy. When he's not shagging someone who is almost definitely your mum, he's answering your love life questions and solving your romantic quandaries.