Foul ENT

  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact

The Jary Files - Jary's News Review

21/3/2015

0 Comments

 
I have been watching the news this week instead of reading your letters. I know that doesn't help you virgin losers much, but I had a week off from shagging. Well, I only shagged one bird a day, but that counts as a week off for me. I say one bird a day, one different bird. It still counts as a week off though. Anyway, here is my quick capsule review of the weeks news stories and that.
Picture

The Ugliest Woman In The World

The BBC ran a story about a woman who had been called the ugliest woman in the world. Now when I read this I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. For starters I was expecting to see a picture of Chlamydia Lydia, my ex. I was pleasantly surprised when I read the story and it turned out she was probably a 3 or 4. I have shagged much much worse than her, without drinking as well. 
Picture
Image Credit: bbc.co.uk
It turns out anyway that this bird is proper sound, she might not be as fit as say Susan Boyle, but she is deffo as sound as Sara Cox or Lorena Bobbit. The reason I tend to be a connoisseur in shagging ugly women is for one simple reason. They try way fucking harder. If you can hit the holy grail and lamp one into an ugly, fat and crazy woman you are guaranteed the shag of your life. I nailed a fat, ugly nutter once. It was like shagging a landmine, inside a kangaroos pouch on a trampoline in a helicopter. It was fucking awesome.

He Hit Him With A Surprise Left

A lot has been made of Jeremy Clarkson and his sparking out of a producer. Here's what I don't get; Clarkson is an old fella, bit of a xenophobe, possibly a bit racist and a lot of a twat. He is missing out on his massive shagging potential here. He could be doing a lot more than he does. I mean come on, this is a bloke who is an actual real life embodiment of Roger Mellie, he could be laying more pipe than Severn Trent!
Picture
Image Credit: conversationsabouther.net
To be serious for once, what I really don't get is how his very much justified sacking created such a successful petition and things like this, get such a lukewarm response. That is why I stay out of public affairs and I just do as much shagging as I can.

Foxy Lady

Amanda Knox is a name from the past. In 2005, I went out to Seattle on a shagging holiday. Now in case you are too stupid to realise what a shagging holiday is, a shagging holiday is when you go on holiday and do plenty of shagging. Simple as fuck. Anyway, I went off to Seattle and there I met a bird named Mandy. She had got one of the three proper-shag-guarantee qualities: She was mental. If she had been fat and ugly as well it would have been dynamite, because she was a special kind of crazy. For starters she used dynamite. Fucking dynamite! 
Picture
Image Credit: theguardian.com
It turns out her name was Mandy Kounse, but for a short week in 2008 I was convinced I had smashed Amanda Knox. I was gutted, but then I found out she had been found not guilty of that terrible crime, so I am saving up the money that women pay me for shagging and in a week or so I will be off to Seattle again to see if I can fulfil that particular dream.


Until next time when I will be debunking scientifically proven theories, or answering your stupid questions, or turning every news story into one about me and my cock.

Picture
By Jary
Tweet at Jary


Jary is one of the stars of Foul Fantasy. When he's not shagging someone who is almost definitely your mum, he's answering your love life questions and solving your romantic quandaries.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Blogs

    You can find all of our articles right here. Use the menus below to sort by date, author or series.

    Also, click the buttons below to explore our social network antics.

    Articles

    All
    30 Days Of Stuff
    5 Days With...
    Articles By Abdurahman
    Articles By Darren
    Articles By Frank King
    Articles By Jary
    Articles By Joe
    Articles By Mike
    Ask Jary
    Code Club
    Danke-bitte
    Deaf To All But Metal
    Death Of Video Games
    E3 2015
    E3 2016
    Foul Fantasy Devblog
    Foul-To's
    Friday The 12th
    General Foulection
    Jary Files
    Plenty Of Catfish
    Podcasts
    Pop Culture Club
    Rider Report
    Site News
    Star Wars Week
    #Tagurday
    WWE Stats 2019

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

© Foul Entertainment, 2015 - 2022
​
​