Women’s History Month is a cause for celebration, and I will honour this event by doing something more interesting than talking about women’s history; talking about women I have ploughed.
Eve, The First Woman
Image Credit: jw.org
In the beginning, God created man. For it was Adam who was first created, then Eve, then me. And it was not Adam who was deceived, well it was, because I was shagging Eve.
A serpent showed up. The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat the fruit from the trees in the garden.” And the serpent did say “and you can eat me,” and she did, for thus the serpent is my cock.
Genesis, Phil Collins 31:86
A serpent showed up. The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat the fruit from the trees in the garden.” And the serpent did say “and you can eat me,” and she did, for thus the serpent is my cock.
Genesis, Phil Collins 31:86
Rosa Parks, Civil Rights Activist
Image Credit: bet.com
Picture this. The year is 1950. I’m a young white man checking my privilege on the back of a bus when this chubby negroid comes on and starts talking jive. She keeps talking about how she should be sitting at the front, but luckily I'm on hand to talk her out of it. I was jonesing for a handy because remember, this was the 50s, and I always want a handy. I talked this bird into giving me a tug and while we were getting rutty we got talking. She told me her name was Rosa, and I told her mine was Clint. It isn’t.
Diana, Princess of Wales
Image Credit: images.express.co.uk
I don’t discriminate. As well as shagging blacks, I have lamped one up enough white women to fill an Aerosmith concert. Not that I’d ever see Aerosmith, although I did shag the bird who sings for them. Back in 1997, the world was left heartbroken when the Princess of Wales was tragically killed in a car accident. Well, that’s what some people believe. I was there. I know what really happened. Let’s just say that on that fateful night in 1997, it wasn’t the first time a face was in a mess after something went too fast down a tunnel.
Joan of Arc, The Maid of Orléans
Image Credit: sdreader.com
I used to think Joan of Arc was the blonde bird who played Sabrina, but apparently I was wrong. Whatever. I looked it up on the Wikipedia and it turns out I’ve shagged both of them anyway. Joan of Arc? More like Joan of Arse. Because that’s where I ploughed her.
Lady Godiva, Starkers Noblewoman
Image Credit: deviantart.net, User: zouilletmf
Legend says that a man named Tom watched Lady Godiva ride horseback naked through the streets of Coventry and was so enthralled by her beauty that he went blind. This is bullshit. Me and Lady Godiva had just been knocking boots in a Travelodge in Coventry and I gave the Idris (elbow). She left her clothes in my hotel room and the only transport in those days was a horse. Or the Metro. Coventry blows, unlike Lady Godiva.
By Jary
@JaryFoulFantasy
Jary is one of the stars of Foul Fantasy. When he's not shagging someone who is almost definitely your mum, he's answering your love life questions and solving your romantic quandaries.
@JaryFoulFantasy
Jary is one of the stars of Foul Fantasy. When he's not shagging someone who is almost definitely your mum, he's answering your love life questions and solving your romantic quandaries.