Donald Trump is probably the best known thalidomide victim in the world. Not only has he set a world record for watching every episode of The West Wing in a week, for preparation purposes, but he has also actually managed to speak for three hours straight without even saying anything. You can't argue with these facts. To capitalise on his new found fame, I have decided to compile his five most awesome tweets of all time.
1. It Ain't A Crime To Rhyme
Trump is known for his catchphrases like "You're getting sacked" and "We're going to build a barrier". What he's not known for is his prowess at spitting bars.
Here, Donny J shows just how hip he is, while still managing to showcase that trademark racism that has got him within a gnat's bollock of running America. It almost brings a tear to your eye.
2. Back To The Past
Donald J. Trump doesn't care about whether something has been invented or not. Here he is tweeting as an episode of Saved By The Bell was trending.
Let's ignore the fact that his daughter was about 12 at this point, also that Twitter didn't even exist. I want to focus on the fact that Trumpy had his finger on the pulse. Kelly Kapowski was seriously fit. Isn't this the man to lead the free world?
3. Trump The Thinker
Sometimes Trump asks the questions that we just need to know. He pushes the boundaries and makes sure that we continue to grow as a species.
Yeah, that's right, convince your enemies to eat shit. That's definitely what he was doing there.
4. Sports Fan Donald
The main thing you want from your leader, apart from intelligence, compassion, a good knowledge of foreign policy, knowledge about economics, being a good orator and being tactful, is being an every man. And what is more every man than liking sports?
Everyone can relate to this. We've all lost money betting, right?
5. Donald The Straight Talker
Apart from all of the other things I mentioned earlier, the most important thing for a President is honesty. Donald J. Trump is unbelievably honest. Let me tell you, he is honest. Straight talking and truthful. He can't help but tell the truth. You are going to see some truth, and it is going to be seen by you. Very important facts, straight from Donald Trump.
Well shit. Sometimes you should probably lay off the honesty Donald, that's a lot of votes you're going to lose in Harlem.
There you have it, the five best tweets from Donald Trump. It was a hard slog scrolling through almost 17 billion tweets, but as you can see, it's a veritable treasure trove of logic and reason. Oh and bullshit, complete and utter bullshit.
By Frank King
Email Frank King
Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.
Email Frank King
Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.