You know me, I love consuming me some media. I write a column dedicated to just watching superhero movies and TV, with over-analysis aplenty. Our podcast PopScorn is all about watching and talking about movies. If there's one thing you can say about me with confidence is that I watch a lot of stuff. However, it's impossible to watch everything that's out there. It's also impossible to know when you're about to waste your precious time on hours of steaming televisual shit.
That's where I've decided to do away with journalistic integrity and do what I do best; judge by the cover. And Netflix, being the veritable hotbed of entertainment that it is, is bound to be pad it's gleaming diamonds with huge nuggets of shit. Here are the five worst things I've seen on there... that I haven't actually seen.
That's where I've decided to do away with journalistic integrity and do what I do best; judge by the cover. And Netflix, being the veritable hotbed of entertainment that it is, is bound to be pad it's gleaming diamonds with huge nuggets of shit. Here are the five worst things I've seen on there... that I haven't actually seen.
Marc Maron: Thinky Pain
Image Credit: i.vimeocdn.com
Netflix is full of shit stand up, most of it performed by Kevin Hart, but it's this show from Marc maron that really takes the biscuit. I take umbrage mostly with the title, because it's a fucking stupid one. I get that it's trying to be ironically stupid, but anyone who can't think of the word 'headache' (whether intentionally or not) must be the kind of idiot who isn't able to string a sentence together, nevermind a decent joke. Marc Maron? More like Marc Moron! ...Wait, he did that joke? Whatever, it was a shit joke. Much like the ones found in Unfunny Cunt: Headache.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Image Credit: independent.co.uk
This is your annual reminder that Tina Fey is not funny and people only say they like her so they don't look like a misogynist: Tina Fey is not funny and people only say they like her so they don't look like a misogynist.
Anyway, I'm fairly certain this show is just literal wank. It's seemingly written by wankers, stars wankers, is loved by wankers and generally is fucking wank. The fact that this is one of the most beloved series on the service is utterly mind boggling. It is so amazingly awful, it's hoping you'll find an autistic black guy dressed as Iron Man both hilarious and endearing. It also stole our gag of giving people stupid names for cheap laughs and managed to ruin it. It also consistently wins Webby awards, which is actually a bigger insult than I could ever think of.
Anyway, I'm fairly certain this show is just literal wank. It's seemingly written by wankers, stars wankers, is loved by wankers and generally is fucking wank. The fact that this is one of the most beloved series on the service is utterly mind boggling. It is so amazingly awful, it's hoping you'll find an autistic black guy dressed as Iron Man both hilarious and endearing. It also stole our gag of giving people stupid names for cheap laughs and managed to ruin it. It also consistently wins Webby awards, which is actually a bigger insult than I could ever think of.
True Memoirs Of An International Assassin
Image Credit: i.ytimg.com
Do you ever think that sometimes Adam Sandler is just too high brow? Luckily for you, your death will impact nobody. But in the meantime, some asshole gave Kevin James the budget for a Netflix movie. I don't even have to say anything else, do I? It's a Kevin James movie. Even Kevin James doesn't like Kevin James movies. The only reason this thing exists is because you know at least one idiot friend who torrented Paul Blart: Mall Cop because he heard it was just as good as Bruce Almighty. You also know that idiot friend is probably you because surely not everybody is that fucking tasteless. What I'm saying is this movie is the reason nobody likes you. Fuck this movie.
F Is For Family
Image Credit: i.ytimg.com
Oh wow, another animated family comedy with adult themes? You mean like The Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama, South Park, American Dad, Squidbillies, The Boondocks, Mr Pickles, Bob's Burgers, Archer, Rick And Morty, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, The Cleveland Show, King Of The Hill, Bordertown, Sealab 2021, Daria, Bojack Horseman, Venture Brothers, The Life And Times Of Tim, Beavis And Butthead, Rocky And Bullwinkle, Rocko's Modern Life, Regular Show, Drawn Together, Dr Katz, The Critic, The Oblongs, Home Movies, Harvey Birdman, Metalocalypse, Misson Hill, Duckman, Clerks: The Animated Series and even the original Johnny Quest?
Yeah, it's just like all of those shows, except it's complete bollocks.
Yeah, it's just like all of those shows, except it's complete bollocks.
Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny
Image Credit: comedycentral.com
Seriously Shit.
There you are, hours upon hours of time saved and I didn't even have to waste them myself! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to force myself through 3 seasons of Agents Of SHIELD, because apparently the 4th series is less shit than before. Time well spent!
There you are, hours upon hours of time saved and I didn't even have to waste them myself! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to force myself through 3 seasons of Agents Of SHIELD, because apparently the 4th series is less shit than before. Time well spent!
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games