I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next man. I work with Joe and Gasher (Mike), so I get that daily. Not because they're funny mind. Speaking of people who aren't funny, here are five of the unfunniest cunts who have the tenacity to accept payment for not being funny. These five people call themselves 'comedians', I call them 'fucking unfunny pieces of shit'.
5. Denis Leary
Image Credit: comedycentral.mtvimages.com
There are a fuck load of things about Dennis Leary that aren't shit. His performance in that Fireman program, Fireman Sam I think it was called,and when he played Uncle Ben in Spider-Man. Those were both decent performances. What is shit however, is his stand up. I'm not gonna go into great detail, he's just a joke stealing hack. He's like Joe Pasquale with a better voice. He's the kind of guy who if your Mother had just died and he was your friend he would use that as an in to finger your sister. On your bed!
4. Michael McIntyre
Image Credit: Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow
I watched a Micky Mack set about ten years ago, back when he was just the voiceover man on Comedy Central's late night stand up show. It was not abysmal. Seven years later, I had forgotten about him, and he was the biggest comedian in the world. I checked him out and it turns out he had stopped being not abysmal and had turned into what I can only imagine Helen Keller looked like when she had a wasp on her shoulder. Oh, I went back and watched that old stand up set as well, I was wrong, it was bollocks. Turns out ten years ago I was a fucking idiot.
3. Lee Evans
Image Credit: theartdesk.com
“Oh Lee Evans is so funny, I love how he runs about and makes loads of noises”
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
2. Noel Fielding
Image Credit: concreteplayground.com
If I could cross a praying mantis and that bloke out of Placebo, I would get Noel Fielding. It would be thin and long, it would be a bloke but looks a lot like a woman and it would not be fucking funny. I didn't like The Mighty Boosh, but I can see why people did. Surrealist Salvador Dali does comedy I suppose, but his stand up? The only way I can describe it is, if the aforementioned genetically engineered abomination ended up as a tramp, got pissed and started shouting at a flock of pigeons. That is Noel Fielding doing stand up.
1. Jo Brand
Image Credit: sporcle.come
I'm not going to bring looks into things. Being attractive is not important when it comes to being a good stand up. Look at George Carlin, he wasn't Brad Pitt, even when he was young. So onto the reason why Jo Brand is the worst stand up ever: She's fat and ugly and that is her act! It's as if when she was a child she watched Bernard Manning and said, when I grow up, I want to be him, but without the jokes. Bernard may have been a racist, but at least he didn't tell the exact same joke (singular) for his whole career! The worst brand of comedy? Jo.
By The Cunt
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.