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Personality Starter Kits Now Available From Foul Ent! (30 Days Of Stuff)

27/11/2016

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At Foul Entertainment we pride ourselves on being able to make outrageous claims but never actually deliver. If social media is any barometer, then everybody we know is either a CEO, entrepreneur, artist, activist, intellectual heavyweight, political expert, comedian, photographer, superstar DJ, genius, or MLM preaching business guru.

We understand that image is a lot more important actually being. After all; if everyone thinks you're the CEO of a company, then you basically are, even though your company is just a Facebook page with a picture of you sitting at a desk as the profile shot. Image trumps being, and we're here to help you give that false impression you've always wanted.
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What we're offering is a condensed package of all the products you need to fool people into thinking you're actually someone. All the accessories you could ever need to pretend to be the thing you want to be but can't be bothered to. We're here to take the effort out of making effort, so all you'll need is a few props and a selfie and you'll have achieved your goal of looking like you've achieved your goal.

Forget hard work. Forget having to actually leave the house ever again. Our Personality Kits will damn near prove to everyone on your Facebook that your business isn't just a logo and some inspirational quotes which you googled.

The big question is; can you put a price on repuation? Yes you can, and that price is £19.99 plus shipping.

The Facebook Economist Personality Kit

Want to solve America's trillion dollar debt from the comfort of your futon in a trailer in Alabama? Well now you can pretend you know what the fuck you're talking about with the Facebook Economist Personality Kit. Containing the finest in Michael Moore DVDs, a liberal arts degree from YouTube State University and 36 gigabytes of memes from Occupy Democrats, you too can educate the Conservatives on your Facebook about why your financial planning can save America. If you order this pack before Christmas, then we'll even send you a download link to our Opposing Opinion Blocker, a browser add-on which not only blocks any views which don't confirm what you already think, but also messages that person calling them a racist / cuck / bigot / leftie / homophobe.

The Slacktivism & SJW Personality Combo Kit

Can't decide what to be offended by today? Do you have no sex, and often feel the need to protect women you've never met in the hope that they might start to like you? Do you have a Twitter account and absolutely no life? Well, get ready to make an all-caps post on Facebook because we're offering the Slacktivism & SJW Personality Combo Kit to anyone out there who is struggling to form a personality of their own. Firstly, we'll Photoshop your profile picture onto a background of every country's flag in preparation of a terrorist attack anywhere in the world, allowing you to be first on the scene with your posts about thoughts and prayers. We'll provide you with the perfect filter for that inevitable dick pic you'll send when that girl you're trying to impress finally follows you back. We'll even send you thirteen used condoms, because you definitely won't have any use for normal ones.

The Veganazi Personality Kit

Are you struggling to find a reason to tell people that you're a vegan? Do you want all of the attention and literally no strength or energy? You've educated your family and friends on the exclusive disadvantages of veganism but you need to ask yourself; are you annoying enough people? Well, don't worry because now you can annoy everyone you come into contact with with the Veganazi Personality Kit. Containing only the itchiest hemp underpants to match your already itchy vagina, a megaphone in case you ever find yourself at a large gathering (like a hippy a commune or something), several mannequins to help you block off the milk section in the supermarket (because we all know you have no friends) and an armpit razor with no blades attached. With this kit, no one will ever question your veganism again, because no one will want to talk to you.

The Struggling Film Maker Personality Kit

Don't need a real job because your parents are subsidising your expenses? If that's the case, why not use that undeserved financial security to buy our Struggling Film Maker Personality Kit? Containing a vintage camcorder to give your films that cheap, underproduced feel, a broken condenser mic so your voice can't quite be heard, Frank King's book "How To Be An Unlikable Cunt" to help you ruin every meaningful relationship you ever form and three blank DVDs so you still have two spare to record The Walking Dead after you have sold the solitary copy of your documentary to your brother. With this kit, you'll be able to fool actual struggling artists into thinking you're one of them.

The CEO of a MLM Company Personality Kit

Does your business consist of selling make-up, health supplements or homeopathy products to your friends and family? Are the products overpriced versions of things you can buy from any normal store for cheaper? Do you "recruit" other people for your "selling team" by giving the illusion that you're earning money when you're really working two other jobs and still claiming benefits? If the answer is yes, then The CEO of a MLM Company Personality Kit is exactly what you need to convince people as gullible as yourself that they can make any kind of decent income from selling cheap beauty products to people they know. Firstly, we'll send you a copy of the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne so you can pretend you've read it, some inspirational quotes which we've chosen at random from Google, and a broken laptop which you can use as a prop for when you take pictures of yourself "working from home". Actual business owners will never be able to call you a gullible, pyramid scheme-preaching dumbass who has been scammed by someone smarter than them ever again if you buy this kit for ONLY £19.99 TODAY!

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By Joe Turner
@apocrypha87

​Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.

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By Frank King
Email Frank

Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.

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​By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen

The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games

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