Rock and Roll is the most awesome out of all types of music. Not just because it rocks, but because the stories that come out of this genre are all ridiculously amazing! From Ozzy snorting a line of ants to Vince Neil actually dying in a dumpster, Rock will always be where the wild men are at. How about the stories you've not heard though? The stories that will really make your hair stand on end. Stories that are so unbelievable... because I have literally made them up! Stand by for some of the most pant shittingly awesome rock legends you will ever (never) hear.
1. Motley Crue Ate A Hooker
Tommy Lee is a crazy mother fucker. This is a guy who was on a boat with Pamela Anderson, and instead of spending all of his time inside her, he spent some of his time filming himself hitting the boat with his dick! That's not what I'm going to talk about here though. Back in 1989 "The Croo" had just got sober and released their most successful album to date, Dr. Feelgood. What is not so well known about this story is who Dr.Feelgood was.
Dr. Feelgood was the man the band went to when they had got too crazy with the prostitutes they enjoyed the company of. He fixed them up and made sure none of their antics hit the news. Unfortunately one time he couldn't help her; One prozzie died from internal injuries which were suspiciously Tommy Lee's cock shaped. So the good doctor, to keep the lads safe from any trouble, cooked and served the hooker in a curry.
In tribute to their reputation saving doctor they named their next album after him and the rest is history.
Dr. Feelgood was the man the band went to when they had got too crazy with the prostitutes they enjoyed the company of. He fixed them up and made sure none of their antics hit the news. Unfortunately one time he couldn't help her; One prozzie died from internal injuries which were suspiciously Tommy Lee's cock shaped. So the good doctor, to keep the lads safe from any trouble, cooked and served the hooker in a curry.
In tribute to their reputation saving doctor they named their next album after him and the rest is history.
2. Alice Cooper Danced With Princess Diana in 1984
Alice Cooper has done some crazy things in his time, like thinking he could act and appearing in Wayne's World. The craziest thing he has ever done though? Almost causing an international incident when he had himself a really good grab of her arse during a dance at the palace. Fortunately Prince Charles didn't see it because he was too busy being Camilla's tampon in one of the 369 bathrooms Buckingham Palace has.
Image Credit: express.co.uk
3. The Eagles Murdered All Of Their Fans In A Satanic Ritual
Have you ever noticed how The Eagles are a pretty huge band, but you never meet any fans of theirs? That's because in 1979 after a free show they hosted, they murdered all of their fans as a blood sacrifice to their dark overlord. This may seem as ridiculous as Judas Priest trying to convince their fans to commit suicide but they knew exactly what they were doing.
​Since that moment when every single one of their fans was murdered The Eagles have sold 31 million copies of their Hotel California album a year, even though they literally have no fans left. It's the most heart warming success story of a band ever, 19 men and 3 women all totally dedicated to being the biggest band on the planet, so much so that they were willing to give up their very souls to achieve that goal. It brings a tear to the eye.
​Since that moment when every single one of their fans was murdered The Eagles have sold 31 million copies of their Hotel California album a year, even though they literally have no fans left. It's the most heart warming success story of a band ever, 19 men and 3 women all totally dedicated to being the biggest band on the planet, so much so that they were willing to give up their very souls to achieve that goal. It brings a tear to the eye.
So there you have it, three of the most outrageous Rock and Roll stories of all time. And remember lawyers, they're all made up!
By The Cunt
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A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.