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Frank King Of Marketing

3/12/2016

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I do a lot of experimenting when it comes to making FoulENT a global powerhouse. Mainly in the realms of Facebook marketing. We're all cheap bastards here, so we don't like paying for advertising, or traffic. We are more organic than a crusty hippy's fridge. How do you get your huge traffic figures then Frank? I hear you ask. Well, it's a combination of dumb luck and exploiting our knowledge of how men react to things. Just call me Dong Draper, because here is my fool proof marketing guide!
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1. Images Means More Views.

There is a lot of marketing information out there. A lot of is it based on sound research and years of study. Advertising is a fine art you see. There is one thing though that every advertising book I have ever read had in common. People are like crows: They stink, are stupid and are attracted to things that catch their eye. This is why people are more likely to like a picture, than some words. It's why Albert Einstein is way less popular than Jenny McCarthy. Even though Einstein definitely would have had his kids vaccinated, she somehow has managed to convince people that vaccination is bad, purely because she is more aesthetically pleasing. 

Put pictures on everything, is the first tip from Frank when it comes to marketing. 
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Image Credit: bbc.co.uk

2. Funny Means Sharing.

Since the dawn of men standing around talking shit, the funny bloke has always been the most popular. What happens when the funny bloke isn't around though? I'll tell you, one of the other not so funny blokes steps up and steals all of the jokes the funny bloke told the day before. 

​That is a fact you will never see in any of your fancy 'books' yet it is a cornerstone of getting your content shared on the internet. The reason people share humourous pictures that other people have made on their Facebook page is because to them they are the funny bloke now. 

Frank's second tip for gaining internet interest? Be funny, and if you can't be funny, steal from someone who is.

3. Motherfucking Tits!

I don't really need to write too much here. It's been known since the dawn of time. Since Jayne Mansfield managed to carve a career out of having a good rack and not much else, marketing men have known that a decent set of lills will sell even the shittest product. Don't believe me? This picture increased our page likes by 20% in 4 hours on Thursday.
Picture
At least try to read the text
I know all this serious talk is hard to read coming from me, but sometimes even I have to take out the time to educate you people. So next time your Facebook page dedicated to your dog grooming company is stuck on seven likes, whack up a picture of some tits with the funniest dog pun you can think of and before you know it you will be rolling in likes. 

Although knowing the internet dog grooming probably has a completely different meaning to the majority of them.

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​By Frank King
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Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.

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