It's that time of year again! Mike from Foul ENT is here to take you through the biggest event of the gaming calender; E3! Read on to see the highs and lows of Ubisoft's Press Conference!
THE GOOD
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
Matt Stone and Trey Parker return to run amok on stage and show off the sequel to The Stick Of Truth. A solid gameplay trailer showed the beginning of the game, which showed off the return of the classic South Park art style, it's direct continuation of the Stick Of Truth story, including the super funny commentary on superhero movies. There's a WAY deeper character customisation tree, including 12 new classes! The turn based combat engine has now changed to include spatial features like distance and cover mechanics, ala Fire Emblem. In a cool bonus, anyone who pre-orders the new game will get a copy of the Stick Of Truth remaster for their platform of choice. Sweet! It's rude, crude, and exactly what the fans could want from this sequel. And it looks fucking awesome.
South Park: The Fractured But Whole (Hehehe, butthole) lands on December 6th for PS4, Xbox One and PC.
South Park: The Fractured But Whole (Hehehe, butthole) lands on December 6th for PS4, Xbox One and PC.
Star Trek: Bridge Crew
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
This looks like every Trekkies roleplay fantasy. This VR game puts 4 people on the bridge of the Enterprise, putting co-operation and communication at the forefront. It looks damn authentic! You'll need 4 Oculus Rifts and controllers, but otherwise it looked pretty damn amazing. If you're all about immersive roleplay, this looks like an absolute winner. Embrace the virginity and go full geek and you'll love this.
For Honor
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
Full disclosure, I loved the look of this game 12 months ago. It's an arena fighter/Warriors style game that pits vikings, samurai and knights in a huge war against each other and an other worldly puppeteer. We got a bit of story guff about how parts of time and space were thrown together to fight eternally by some evil bint called Apoleon, which is all fine and dandy as an excuse to make historical armies kick the shit out of each other. On top of that, there was a nice, lengthy demo which showed off how the single player campaign will work, with a linear structure that goes back and forth between Dynasty Warriors and Chivalry. And it looks damn fun.
For Honor will come out on February 14th 2017 for PS4, Xbox One and PC.
For Honor will come out on February 14th 2017 for PS4, Xbox One and PC.
Watch Dogs 2
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
This LITERALLY JUST makes it into the good list just by not being a totally unattainable vision of the future. The punk inspired sequel showed off a ton of new gadgets in its game-play demo and doesn't look like it's totally misinforming its audience. It looks... a little bit of fun. Nothing groundbreaking, nothing offensive, but a marked improvement on its underwhelming first entry. Maybe this will end up being the Assassins Creed 2 style sequel this franchise deserves. Or maybe it'll totally suck like its predecessor. For now at least, it's not trying to be the second coming of Jesus in video game form, so that's at least a little refreshing. Oh and there's a movie on the way. Yay?
Watch Dogs 2 hits shelves on November 15th 2016 for PS4, Xbox One and PC.
Watch Dogs 2 hits shelves on November 15th 2016 for PS4, Xbox One and PC.
THE BAD
Just Dance 2017
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
I don't know about you, but after a dumb attempt at making a meme-worthy intro, but I love me some ridiculous dance troupe routine to a Queen song. I sighed a familiar note of tiredness when this graced the stage. I have never, nor will I ever, play a bloody dance game. A core video gamer will not play this shit. But at least they got it out the way early on. Oh, and it's the second Nintendo NX confirmed game. Go figure.
Obviously, it's out next year, 2017.
Obviously, it's out next year, 2017.
Ghost Recon: Wildlands
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
Ubisoft has had 12 months to work on this shit, and failed to deliver anything substantial. Just yet another carbon copy CG trailer that shows a bunch of American dudes murdering foreigners, followed by a pre-scripted multiplayer 'vertical slice' of gameplay. The hubris of Ubisoft trying to pass of what is quite the vanilla Ubisoft experience as something revolutionary is frankly insulting. It's The Division in Columbia with a focus on a 4 player co-op story. Revolutionary, I'm sure you'll agree. Enjoy.
Okay, the game looks fine, but this is the kind of stuff that works better in the hand than on screen, but they kind of have to talk about it. I dunno. It looks OK, but it wasn't an exciting watch at all.
Ghost Recon: Wildlands releases on March 7th 2017 for Xbox One, PS4 and PC.
Okay, the game looks fine, but this is the kind of stuff that works better in the hand than on screen, but they kind of have to talk about it. I dunno. It looks OK, but it wasn't an exciting watch at all.
Ghost Recon: Wildlands releases on March 7th 2017 for Xbox One, PS4 and PC.
The Division: Survival
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
So, on top of Xbox's exclusivity on all Division DLC packages lasting literally a week, the expansion looked... well, pretty boring. In fact, you could have told me it was a trailer for the main game a year late and I'd have believed you. Bit of a waste of time, really. But hey, anniversary skins, right! ...Right?
Eagle Flight
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
VR is a way to experience unreal other worlds... like being a bird in a low poly, ugly looking overgrown Paris. Huh. And the birds can somehow... shoot one another? And it's capture the flag gameplay? And the birds make awful, awful screech noises like all the time? And the award for the ugliest, stupidest use of VR goes to...
Trials Of The Blood Dragon
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
What an absolutely painful announcement this was. The host were assholes and this combo is something that LITERALLY NOBODY asked for. The tongue in cheek tone of the whole affair just did not sit well. And like who needs this?! It seems such a waste of time, when a true Blood Dragon sequel would be absolutely amazing!
Trials Of The Blood Dragon is our NOW for PS4, Xbox One and PC... for the 4 people who thought this was a good idea.
Trials Of The Blood Dragon is our NOW for PS4, Xbox One and PC... for the 4 people who thought this was a good idea.
Steep
Image Credit: twitter.com/ubisoft
Never thought I'd be putting a new IP in the bad section, but here we are. Steep lacks the fun, anarchic style of snowboarding games like the SSX series, and instead substitutes in the cookie cutter Ubisoft open world with peaks to reveal maps. Only with literal peaks. As in mountains. I'm not sure who asked for an extreme sports open world video game, but those 2 people got their wish. Only now Ubisoft is banking on it. Uhh, kinda seems like a really dumb decision. Maybe I'm a cynical prick, but this seems a wholly unnecessary game. But hey, gotta get that GoPro sponsorship deal, eh lads?
Steep hits store shelves this December on PS4, Xbox One and PC.
Steep hits store shelves this December on PS4, Xbox One and PC.
THE VERDICT
Ubisoft's trademark 'humour' was, as usual, a grating part of this conference, but overall, this was a mixed bag. When it was good, it was fucking incredible. It has the two best games of the expo so far in South Park and For Honor, but it was filled with underwhelming or downright awful games that very few people who care to watch stuff like this will have absolutely no interest in. By trying to please everyone, Ubisoft is seemingly pleasing nobody. But hey, if I have to endure a few shitty games to get my next South Park fix, I suppose I'll bite the bullet. Damn you, Matt and Trey!
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games