Of the traditional press conferences, Square Enix is the final one of this year. But does being last make them the least relevant? Here's the lowdown on Sqenix's efforts at E3.
So for the last time, here's the first reaction from the conference:
Fucking hell... Aaaand breathe. It's over now. Right, here are the best and worst bits:
The Good
Kingdom Hearts 3
One short trailer is all it take for this beautiful game to become the highlight of the conference. Kingdom Hears has truly evolved in its years in development. The new title looks way more frantic and colourful than its predecessors and will hopefully take the KH series to new heights after its spin-off stagnation of mediocrity. We have high hopes.
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
I am admittedly biased. I loved Human Revolution. Like a lot. I managed to clear a bunch of missions by throwing fridges at people. How can you not love that? Although the plot sounds like a total crock of shit, the new game is looking to replicate what made the previous game great, with more augmentations, new weapons and customisation and a great new locale to explore with augmented slums to liberate. It should make for a fine entry into the series and I can't wait to play it.
The Bad
Literally The Rest Of The Conference
Bloody hell, this hour was 75% Square blowing themselves, 10% reused trailers from last night, 10% bearing with the people who are presenting fuck all and 5% Kingdom Hearts 3. We learned nothing of note in this conference. All we saw was stuff we already knew about, and all other announcements were so underwhelming they may as well never have bothered.
The guys behind the new Neir clearly spent their budget on an elaborate mask, which was stupid. Every game presentation seemed to be a self congratulatory snore fest or a desperate plead for more time to show something worthwhile off. Once again, we had a shoehorned mobile section with the Monument Valley knock-off Lara Croft Go.
Even the stuff that looked decent enough, like the new Star Ocean and the new Just Cause, was sandwiched between dry talk and uninteresting filler. And the grand finale of Project of Setsuna had literally a few pieces of concept art to show off. I spent most of this conference getting other stuff ready and listening to this in the background. What an utter, utter waste of time this conference was.
Next time, Square, if you have nothing to show, don't bother hosting your own event. That was a good hour and a half, of which maybe ten minutes was noteworthy. I suppose if there's a greater good of this conference, it did show me how precious my time is and how much I'm really going to miss those hours I've lost watching these embarrassing assholes literally present shreds of information as if they've just shit a gold bullion. Yeah, not bothering next year. Get someone else to do it.
Keep visiting back after the conferences and visit our Twitter for as-it-happens commentary and humour on this years E3!
The guys behind the new Neir clearly spent their budget on an elaborate mask, which was stupid. Every game presentation seemed to be a self congratulatory snore fest or a desperate plead for more time to show something worthwhile off. Once again, we had a shoehorned mobile section with the Monument Valley knock-off Lara Croft Go.
Even the stuff that looked decent enough, like the new Star Ocean and the new Just Cause, was sandwiched between dry talk and uninteresting filler. And the grand finale of Project of Setsuna had literally a few pieces of concept art to show off. I spent most of this conference getting other stuff ready and listening to this in the background. What an utter, utter waste of time this conference was.
Next time, Square, if you have nothing to show, don't bother hosting your own event. That was a good hour and a half, of which maybe ten minutes was noteworthy. I suppose if there's a greater good of this conference, it did show me how precious my time is and how much I'm really going to miss those hours I've lost watching these embarrassing assholes literally present shreds of information as if they've just shit a gold bullion. Yeah, not bothering next year. Get someone else to do it.
Keep visiting back after the conferences and visit our Twitter for as-it-happens commentary and humour on this years E3!
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.