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Disagreevances: The Text Generation - Drug Legalization

23/3/2015

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Due to the length of time, preparation and planning it takes to put out an episode of Disagreevances, we've decided to add a written blog as well as a podcast. The podcast is far from being retired, but we just like the premise so much that we want to keep it going even when we can't dedicate the time to get the podcast done. The blog is going to work like so: Two writers from the team compete on one topic, the third writer then judges the winner at the end. This week the two competing are Cunt and Joe and the topic is:

Should Drugs be legalised?
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The Cunt FOR legalisation of drugs:

I was going to go into a massive, well researched rant as to why drugs should be legalised. I was going to mention how by taxing drugs the government could have a new revenue stream, how by making them legal it would allow drugs to be more closely managed and lead to less deaths and less abuse. I was going to talk about how the new revenue stream could be used to set up a much better support system for addicts, how it would be easier to get clean needles if each hit was sold with a needle. How it would become less of a tool for criminals to manipulate and rip people off. But fuck all of that shit. 

The main reason for legalising drugs is because it gives you albums like this. Have you ever heard albums by bands that are clean? It sounds awful. Alice Cooper, Eric Clapton both used to drink like mother fuckers. They stopped drinking and their albums went to shit. If you want a good album you need to be at least a boozehound. If you want to write a classic then you cook that heroin right up and you inject it into the fattest vein you can find on your dick.

My second reason to legalise drugs is so that people can do drugs and not lose their jobs. There are professions out there where if you are found to take drugs you are out on your arse. How is that fucking fair? Brian from accounts can go out, get pissed off his face on cheap Thunderbird and sexually assault a homeless girl in an alley and walk in Monday morning like the messiah, but Ash from sales does a massive bong, orders 32 pizzas and passes out trying to make a massive calzone out of them and gets sacked. I'm aware that isn't the case all across the board, but we live in a society where people can make the choice whether to drink or not, the same should be applied to other drugs. Teachers and nurses could definitely do with being allowed to take massive drugs when not working, they have to deal with the two worst types of people, sick people and kids. If you can't come home after a 67 hour shift and snort a line of coke the size of Ron Jeremy's pan handle then why the fuck do you work so many hours? 

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Image Credit: kitchenboy.net
Now imagine the size of Ron's kitchen... Shit, that innuendo doesn't work - Mike
Almost everything enjoyable is as bad for you as drugs are, drinking? Check. Fast food? Check. Extreme sports? Check. The only thing that isn't is shagging, but if you're a bloke, the things you do in pursuit of a shag are way worse for you than drugs. If you don't ban the sale of BMXs as well as crack then you're nothing but a hypocrite.

Fuck all those goodie goodie pussies who tell you drugs will kill you. Of course drugs will kill you, but you know what else will kill you? Being alive. Dying is mandatory, and if you want to make a rocking album, so is taking drugs. Do people deserve to lose their job if they take drugs? Only if it affects their job, if it doesn't then what harm are they doing? Why is it okay for Ronald McDonald to walk around peddling heart disease to children but this is seen as so much worse. Why doesn't Dave Mirra get talked about in the same way as Charlie Sheen? 
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Image Credit: monsterenergy.com
"I'm on a drug called 'Dave Mirra'!" - Dave Mirra
The final reason as to why you should listen to me is, I'm not even a drug taker. It doesn't interest me, it's not my scene. It just really curdles my spunk that walking boners in suits ban this shit, but allow things just as dangerous. Either you ban it all, or you ban nothing. I've never seen a group of stoned dudes flip out and launch a bar stool through a window because there was no wotsits left. Fucking sell it in pharmacies, police it properly and make sure that people aren't abusing it. It won't be 100% safe, but neither is going into hospital, or having one off the wrist, so why not live a little and who knows, maybe you'll release a bitching album! 



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Joe Turner AGAINST legalisation of drugs:

They say experience is the harshest teacher because the test comes before the lesson. I can speak with authority on the subject of drug legalization because I have an ex-girlfriend who was a heavy drug user. That is to say; she was heavy, and used drugs. Her drug use was limited to marijuana and ‘pills’, which I believe is the street term for heroin and cocaine mixed with Red Bull, although I could be wrong. Her drug use began moderately and then, over the course of a year, ascended into thrice weekly intake of whatever she could get her hands on. I myself was no stranger to the occasional James Blunt at the time, so I’m not one to be preaching, however there was a clear distinction between recreational use and something more severe.

As I later learnt, I was able to quite able never see weed again (and haven’t since; this was three years ago). To me, it’s like seeing the pyramids. I’ve done it, and it was nice, but seeing them again wouldn’t make me a better person, I would just be re-living an experience. It’s the same with weed. I used it to heighten a euphoric sensation, i.e, when I was happy. When I went to Egypt, I made the holiday better by seeing something I could only see there. If I went back to Egypt, I’d be experiencing the same thing again when I could be seeing somewhere new, or doing something different. I’m not saying try different drugs, that would be foolish, but doing drugs as a hobby only serves to be done in place of another hobby, which is a total waste. Instead of rolling up a fatty and monging out to Pink Floyd, you could be learning a new skill, or contributing to making the world a better place for our children’s children.  

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Image Credit: flashbak.com
Meanwhile in Egypt...
You see, my ex never learnt this, and that is what bothered me. Drugs were something to do when there was nothing else to do, which was a regular occurrence. It then progressed from a hobby to the norm. Drugs were what happened Saturday evenings when there was nothing else to do. Drugs were what happened after meals. Drugs were what happened during Taggart. Drugs were what happened in the morning before work. Whenever I told her that she was showing obvious signs of a drug addict, she immediately became hostile and gave me the ‘I can’t even do some weed occasionally?’ speech. The last I heard of this woman, she was still doing regular drugs, and had very little else in her life. Drugs had become a substitute for everything.

Is that a life you want? Is that a life anyone wants? I doubt it. Of course, some people are affected by addiction more than others, so luckily not every drug user will end up giving handjobs behind a garage for cash when they can’t hold down a job. But is it a risk worth taking? I’m not going to preach about the physical health risks, mental health risks, the links between drug supplies and crime and terrorism and all that other shit. No amount of statistics and figures will change someone’s mind if they’ve already made a decision to use drugs on a regular basis. What blows my mind is that people are willing to risk addiction for the sake of an occasional hallucinatory experience. In my opinion, there’s enough amazing things on this planet without to having resort to made-up shit.




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Mike Owen with The Verdict:

I was presented with a surprisingly heavy topic for my first judging duty, make no mistake there. Clearly, this an issue that has riled both Joe and Cunt. However, there was a pretty clear winner.

When we talk about legalising drugs, the prevailing argument is for the legalisation of marijuana. You tend not to get many campaigns for the legalisation of stuff like cocaine, due to it's clear health risks. Personally, I don't think there is a sane argument for legalising more volatile drugs like crystal meth, outside of making Breaking Bad memorabilia.
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Image Credit: firebox.com
This is The Danger. Mainly in the form of tooth decay.
The idea of properly regulating all of these substances in a legal controlled way is also, forgive the pun, a pipe dream. There are criminal organisations with far stretching roots in this that would up end this entire dream, sadly, and controversially, it has been known for the governments of the world to colour drugs as a misnomer to redirect the attention of the public away from more pressing matters, like the restriction of certain civil liberties.

Don't get me wrong, certainly for drugs which have been scientifically proven to cause no lasting damage, like marijuana, there is a strong case for it's legalisation. But you need only watch Louis Theroux's 'The City Addicted to Crystal Meth' documentary to see how more hardcore substances can destroy lives, as well as be a huge detriment to physical health.

That, and if all we have to gain from legalisation is more stoner rock, count me out.

The winner is...
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Joe Turner
Against
 legalisation of drugs

Join us next time for more Disagreevances, or listen to the Disagreevances podcasts here!

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By The Cunt
Email The Cunt

A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.

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By Joe Turner

Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games

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By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen

The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games.

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