It's been a busy few weeks for me ladies and gents. Contrary to popular belief I don't live in an abandoned warehouse with some homeless people. I actually own a house and have a life that doesn't involve being a cunt. Well, it does but that is beside the point.
Full Cuntal Lobotomy
What I am trying to say is, I have been coding like a son of a bitch the last few weeks. So much so that I haven't had chance to write about it. It's not just coding either, it's helping put things in place for the future uploads to our newest venture, or making sure Mike's head was in the right place for this slice of awesome. Either way, I have been a busy cunt.
There are two main things I have been coding recently though. The first I am going to talk about is the second thing I have been working on. Gasher (Mike to you) had an idea a while ago, for an old school text based, kind of adventure game. I don't want to give away too much, all I will say is that it is fucking funny.
Finite Hate Machines
On to the coding. Coding is a lot like being deaf and blind and having a wank. It's class, but sooner or later you are going to fuck up and do it at your Nan's birthday party by mistake. You're going to fuck up, and you're going to come across something you weren't sure of. Like your Nan's cake. Finite state machines were something that I had heard of, but wasn't totally sure what they were. I'm still not, in terms of a correct academic definition, but I know the basics. A finite state machine is what I have used to smash out the rough demo for Gashes script. It basically keeps a log of the current state that I am in, so to initialise it I would do something like:
private enum States {Start, Trousers_Down, Dildo_Inserted, Black_Cock_Sucked};
Or whatever states you wanted for your game. Then as I go along typing in my instructions, I just log where I have got to and my options change accordingly. For example, I couldn't enter the Dildo_Inserted state, if I hadn't first entered the Trousers_Down state first. Unless there was a Wear_Arseless_Trousers_And_No_Pants state (for any septics reading this, pants means your shreddies).
This is what I have been using to code that particular demo. It won't be a long game, and it should be with you in the next six weeks once we have the artwork for it to be implemented. Which brings me on to...
private enum States {Start, Trousers_Down, Dildo_Inserted, Black_Cock_Sucked};
Or whatever states you wanted for your game. Then as I go along typing in my instructions, I just log where I have got to and my options change accordingly. For example, I couldn't enter the Dildo_Inserted state, if I hadn't first entered the Trousers_Down state first. Unless there was a Wear_Arseless_Trousers_And_No_Pants state (for any septics reading this, pants means your shreddies).
This is what I have been using to code that particular demo. It won't be a long game, and it should be with you in the next six weeks once we have the artwork for it to be implemented. Which brings me on to...
Ninja Bummer
If you have been checking the Twitter and Instagram recently, you will have seen both the initial designs, the new non programmer art designs and then the change in a new direction for the endless runner game I have been working on. Basically our fartist (that's Foul Artist) thought the Ninja theme didn't offer as much scope for his drawing skills, also it looked ridiculous having a ninja with a fucking jetpack. So he has moved onto a more dystopian future kind of vibe. Which I am sure you will agree from the screenshots that have been shared, looks fucking sweet.
The coding in this has taken my skills so far forward I can't even begin to comprehend how shite I was. From collisions to coding jumps and double jumps for android devices, it is all very new to me. Even though I have spent about 6 months on my coding mission now, I'm still very much a beginner. All I can really say about this without going into loads of detail is try a project that is out of your comfort zone. Both of the the projects I have been working on recently were way out of my comfort zone of what I could do, it forced me out of my little box where I just ambled along slowly, making the same thing slightly edited over and over again. It let me push on and become a better programmer.
It's something everyone should do, unless they're happy making the same thing over and over again. In which case you're probably perfect to work for EA Sports.
It's something everyone should do, unless they're happy making the same thing over and over again. In which case you're probably perfect to work for EA Sports.
By The Cunt
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.
Email The Cunt
A hidden face of the crew, The Cunt is main coder for Foul Entertainment games. He is currently documenting the progress of our game, Foul Fantasy, in his dev blogs.