I have been part of a power couple for a while now. There had been talk of marriage and things seemed to be going really well. Then, Zayn fell out with the rest of the lads and after that he's just seemed different. Coming home late at night, rumours of full blown affairs in the newspapers and one night I am sure I could smell another woman's perfume in our bedroom. I don't know what to do. Help me please?
Perrie Edwards, 21
I think, and you must be aware I find it very hard to say this, you would be best off staying in a committed and loving relationship. There is no way that two full on women can deal with the difficult nature of cheating. I mean once, I dumped my missus because I got another bird pregnant. But then, the girl aborted the child after I 'allowed' her to catch me cheating on her. So in the end, I got back with my original missus, who never had a clue as to why we had split up in the first place! Neither of you could do that!
Four Weird Things and a Fun Urinal
Back in the 90's, I was on top of the um, er, haha, world. I had been in, erm, numerous hit films. I was lamping one into Liz, erm, Hurley; The world was erm, my oyster. Now, I had to erm, um, star opposite Zellwegger, TWICE! All because I er, got caught with my lad in a hookers erm, um, gums. What do I do to get back to where I once was?
Hugh Grant, erm, um, aha, erm, 26, haha
I mean come on, she let Shayne Warne have a blast on her. You haven't even got to lie a lot! I once convinced a bird I wasn't a glorious fanny rat anymore just so I could get into her house and rail her Mom! You can do it Hugh! Just stop being a whining pussy about it!
Every Dog Has His Day
Back in the 90's I was probably about half as famous as Hugh Grant (Remember him?), but I was twice or twenty times the shagger he was. Anyway, my problem is that I'm happily married these days. How can I get out of these shackles and get back to shagging and drugs without ruining my happy marriage?
Darren Day, 46
Wives are a lot harder to cheat on than missuses, because wives are always looking for it, so they can get that nice big divorce settlement. I would imagine with your successful career that it would total the tens of pounds, so if I was you, keep it in your pants and just start wanking a lot more. Thirteen times a day should do it!
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Jary is one of the stars of Foul Fantasy. When he's not shagging someone who is almost definitely your mum, he's answering your love life questions and solving your romantic quandaries.