Foul ENT

  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Videos
  • News shorts
  • About
  • Contact

Ask Jary - #1 Cheating, Courting and Clarkson

11/2/2015

0 Comments

 
I don't know if you remember our previous site. It was wank to be fair, but I wrote some class blogs on there. One thing I am known for is helping cunts out. Especially when it comes to matters of the genitals. Fortunately my post sack is the opposite of my nutsack. Full! So, after the jump, let's get down to business!
Picture

Bad Reputation

Q: "How can I make sure my new boyfriend doesn't have sex with other women? He’s lovely, but has a terrible reputation. He has cheated on every woman he’s ever been in a relationship with and slept with many of his colleagues. Yet he insists that’s all behind him now. He swears he’s grown up and turned over a new leaf because I'm “the one”. But I've got his sister (who I've known for a very long time) whispering in my ear that I’d be a fool to trust him. Who should I believe?" Elaine, 42
This looks pretty ideal, but some people have to be killjoys.
Image Credit: http://www.buzzkenya.com

A: Well Elaine, the thing is, men are born to shag. Women are born to be shagged. It's a shag or be shagged world out there. There is only one way to stop your boyfriend from shagging other women, and that is to never stop having sex with him. EVER! If his cock is inside you all of the time, then it can't be in another woman. A bird I was seeing tried that once, I still fingered her sister though.


Stuck In Second Gear

Q: "My new boyfriend looks just like Jeremy Clarkson. At first I found this arousing, but the longer we are together the more he has started to act like him. First it was driving too fast, then he started calling local takeaway the 'chinky' before I knew it he had turned a 1991 Ferrari F40 into a new kind of Synagogue bus, that he said would save the Jews a fortune. When I told him I was fed up, he posted a video onto Twitter apologising saying he didn't mean to be offensive to Jewish people, he was merely trying to help. What do I do?" Carly-Rae Jepson, 76
Picture
Image Credit: news.com.au
Pictured: Dopey old cunt

A: What has any of that got to do with shagging? If I was him, I would spend less time building religious shuttles and more time cracking open the jelly and lubing up your dried up old cave. I tell you love, by the time I was finished with you, you'd be suffering from 'carnal tunnel syndrome'. That is when your axe wound is proper sore from all the shagging.

A Regular Iceman

"My Uncle is a virgin, I think. He lives alone in a dilapidated old house and spends all of his time talking about sex or hanging around the local school. He is never with a woman and he has a bit of a stupid moustache. What can I do to help him get a shag? I'm fed up of being the only person he has to hang around with, the drinks he makes are always too strong and I end up hammered after one and I have a rotten head ache the next day. And a sore arse." Nimbus, 16
Picture
Image Credit: joystiq.com
Everyone needs a wingman. Just ask Goose here! Is it Goose? Fuck knows, it's a gay film anyway.

Right, bring him down to mine. I will take him out on the town. Obviously he won't get any of the top quality flap, I shag all of that. And the middle of the road totty too. And the bottom feeders. But, on the plus side at least he will get to see how a classs one fanny rat works. You never know, he might pick up some tips and pull more than his cock.


Like a Tiger

"I'm worried that my husband is having an affair. He spends all of his time practising his golf or driving his huge car. I am sure that is a euphemism for shagging other women. What should I do Jary?" Mrs Woods, 39
Picture
Image Credit: golf.eu
Who goes out every Sunday and dunks their balls into 18 holes, anyway? Not me, I strive for 20 at least.

The first thing is, next time he goes out, pop round mine. 23, Softwood Gardens, Thepen Islands. It's a win-win solution. If he is cheating then you have something to throw in his face. My spunk if you collect it in a jar or something. If he isn't cheating, then ah well, you're having an awesome affair, and affairs are awesome. Just ask Bill Clinton, being the man in charge of the most powerful country in the world wasn't enough for him, he had to get his weasel greased by someone other than his wife. If he is cheating, you can't blame him, like I said, affairs are awesome.


Problems in the bedroom? Marriage in a rut? Is your wife clearly cheating and you'd like me to stop railing her? Contact foulentertainmentuk@gmail.com or tweet me and I'll sort you out.

Picture
By Jary
Tweet at Jary


Jary is one of the stars of Foul Fantasy. When he's not shagging someone who is almost definitely your mum, he's answering your love life questions and solving your romantic quandaries.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Blogs

    You can find all of our articles right here. Use the menus below to sort by date, author or series.

    Also, click the buttons below to explore our social network antics.

    Articles

    All
    30 Days Of Stuff
    5 Days With...
    Articles By Abdurahman
    Articles By Darren
    Articles By Frank King
    Articles By Jary
    Articles By Joe
    Articles By Mike
    Ask Jary
    Code Club
    Danke-bitte
    Deaf To All But Metal
    Death Of Video Games
    E3 2015
    E3 2016
    Foul Fantasy Devblog
    Foul-To's
    Friday The 12th
    General Foulection
    Jary Files
    Plenty Of Catfish
    Podcasts
    Pop Culture Club
    Rider Report
    Site News
    Star Wars Week
    #Tagurday
    WWE Stats 2019

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015

© Foul Entertainment, 2015 - 2022
​
​