David Blaine Makes Cards Disappear, Ushers In New World Order
Any magician watching that video saw the cut and the pinky break David did near the start. Hell, even Jimmy joked about the card being forced on him. Some people probably noticed David fluff his words a little when talking to the audience member, and probably realised that quite a noticeable error was made. Regardless, the end result is still pretty spectacular. It takes serious balls to even attempt a sleight as complex as the one David does at the end in front of a live audience, not to mention on live TV.
It is obvious to anyone who is aware of David Blaine’s existence is that he is a sub-human Babylonian demon sent by the illuminati to usher in the next phase of the New World Order. This tweet pretty much proves it. Try explaining how ‘this nigga whole body leave the ground’ to your Nan and she what she says. The only explanation is that David Blaine invokes a sacrificial pact before each of his performances, resulting in the death of a lesser magician in order to further his own powers, whilst being high as balls throughout.
Penn & Teller Create Clones Of Themselves, Shoot Them
Watch this. The magic community has been losing their shit for years regarding the method of P&T’s bullet catch. The only thing we can say for certain is that it’s as complicated as shit. We can also assume that at no point during the whole thing is either magician in any danger. Even if the whole trick went balls up, the most dangerous thing P&T would be dealing with would be a disappointed audience. There is a fuck ton of theories online regarding duplicated bullets, wax bullets, duplicated wax bullets, electronically-controlled exploding glass and most importantly, cloned versions of Penn & Teller with reinforced steel teeth.
While researching the method for this trick I unknowingly stumbled upon this gem of information:
[German magician Ralf Bialla] wore bullet-proof glasses, strong gloves on his hands with which he covered parts of his face, and his front teeth were made of steel. He was seriously wounded nine times but survived. He died in 1975 after falling off a cliff.
Ironic deaths aside, this seems like the type of method P&T could modernise and improve. Which they did. By using clones. We’ve all seen The Prestige. P&T could never risk injuring themselves, they are one of the few reasons to visit Las Vegas besides strippers. What Penn & Teller have cleverly done is cloned themselves, then replaced their teeth with steel crowns. The type perfect for catching bullets. This makes perfect sense logically because it’s true that at no point are Penn and Teller in any danger. Their clones are.
Criss Angel Tries To Walk On Water, Can’t
Paid stooges, camera trickery, quick edits, massive production budgets. None of the things which can help you in a live setting, hence the awful reviews. It looks like the only thing Criss Angel will make disappear is your money.
Derren Brown Smokes, Looks Bad Ass
It is widely considered in the magic community that if a trick can be explained in a few words, then it’s a bad trick. A good magic trick’s explanation should be long winded and confusing, which Smoke is. It’s a combination of mentalism, suggestion, gaffed items, sleight of hand, luck, and good ol’ cigarettes.
I’m talking here about a man who predicted the lottery and then told you how he did it. A man who risked shooting himself in the head on television. A man who reads books for fun. I don’t think there’s any explanation which wouldn’t be anti-climatic. Regardless, the method is quite simple if you think about it, and I don’t just mean for Derren Brown’s Smoke. I mean for every trick on this list. In fact, maybe every magic trick in the world. And the answer is simple. If only we could take a few minutes to stop looking down at our mobile phones or updating our statuses. Maybe then we could all see the truth. I’ve already mentioned it once in this article, but you’ve forgotten about it. As is the beauty of magic and misdirection.
Ancient Satanic Illuminati Demons.
You're welcome, world.
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.