The Great British Bake Off is back on our tellies... and all over our social media. Seriously, people will not shut up about this middle-class, obesity encouraging shitshow that will just not go away, despite this county's many efforts to lower our standards through teenage pregnancy, football hooliganism and off-shore terrorism. The worst part is that it's not even the best reality/gameshow representation of our country. Here are 10 better GBBO alternatives.
The Great British Trouser Snake Off
Image Credit: gadgette.com
Get ready. If you thought baking cakes was hard then you’ve obviously never sent unsolicited pictures of your cock to as many women as possible. See how many ladies you can repulse by flooding their inbox with pictures of your flaccid penis which they didn’t ask for.
The Great British Race Off
Image Credit: guim.co.uk
Being racist is an art form which England have recently lost out to America. Claim our bigotry crown back by seeing who can tell the most racist jokes in the workplace without getting caught by the office black guy. If he catches you, it’s off to see the woman in HR! And she won’t be happy. She’s one too!
The Great British Milkshake Off
Image Credit: bet.com
Just when you thought this was going to be a show about frothy beverages – think again! The only froth in this show is coming out a homeless man’s japs eye. In this show, twelve easy women wank off as many men behind a chip shop as they can within 5 minutes.
The Great British Outbreak Off
Image Credit: igniteyourstatus.org
Until recently England was top of the charts when it came to poor sexual health. Watch our hopefuls help us to get back to our rightful place at the top of the unsafe sex charts by ploughing their way through as many dirty necked scrubbers from the most council estates possible.
The Great British Remake Off
Image Credit: mirror.co.uk
A group of 30 year old My Family writers attempt to remake some classic British sitcoms. Watch as predictable hilarity ensures. You’ll never guess what happens next… Unless you’ve seen the original, which was better.
The Great British Undertake Off
Image Credit: s.yimg.com
Mary Berry has finally croaked at the ripe old age of 126. Twelve untrained chefs have to work together to plan the funeral of the this gross old hag before she re-animates and forces us to look at her disgusting leathery face one more time. Can we keep her dead? You’ll have to tune in each week to find out!
The Great British Snake Off
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Friends nowadays are the number of people you have on your Facebook, so why not cut your ties with actual real life friends by stabbing them in the back for television exposure?
The Great British Stake Off
Image Credit: wikimedia.org
In this iteration, twelve contestants forget to take their bipolar meds for a week and think all of their friends are vampires. See how many of them can stab their friends through the heart with a stake before the police intervene and put a stop to their crazy antics.
The Great British Drake Off
Image Credit: wennermedia.com
Why take the time and effort to craft your own personality when you can just try and look like someone else instead? In The Great British Drake Off, our young hopefuls work as hard as possible to look like popular music singer Chris Brown. The semi finalists will then go on to see who can beat Rihanna most convincingly, with the winner being awarded a recording session to create their rehashed, over-familiar dulcet audible garbage.
The Great British Baked Off
Image Credit: ilovegrowingmarijuana.com
I was going to write the treatment for this show but I had to run to Patel’s Micro-Mart for some munchies.
By Joe Turner
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
Joe is one of the many writers we have at Foul Entertainment, known for Plenty Of Catfish. He is a main stay on the voice cast for Disagreevances. He's also responsible for the artistic design in our games.
By Frank King
Email Frank King
Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.
Email Frank King
Frank is known for his outspoken opinions on everything and anything, as well as his next-level social network trolling. He is also the main coder for Foul ENT games and documents the progress of Foul Fantasy in his dev blogs.
By Mike Owen
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games
@ThatMikeOwen
The Editor in Chief of Foul Entertainment, Mike edits most of what you see on the site. He runs the production of our podcasts, and currently pens Pop Culture Club and The Death of Video Games