The nation's least favourite TV show returned to our screens last week, and ITV have revealed that viewer ratings are at an all time low.
Producers behind the reality TV show have been struggling to place blame on the culprit behind the dwindling ratings, but Simon Cowell himself believes he knows the reason.
Producers behind the reality TV show have been struggling to place blame on the culprit behind the dwindling ratings, but Simon Cowell himself believes he knows the reason.
"It's that moon faced bitch Sharon," said Cowell. "I wanted Barlow back to be honest. Or that Geordie bird with all the surnames. Or Tulisa. Or Gina G. Or the black one from the Vengaboys. I would have settled for a monkey bashing cymbols together instead of her. Fucking hell."
Sharon Osbourne, known for her outspoken opinions and brutal honesty, has came under fire from every other judge on the panel, notably out-of-touch-with-reality Irish simpleton Louis Walsh.
"She's so out of touch with reality it's unbelievable" says Walsh from his 16 bedroom castle in LA. "If she's not careful, she's going to become a parody of herself. Have you heard the new Boyzone?"
Luckily, the judges criticism hasn't affected Sharon's positive outlook.
"Fuck those judges," said Sharon. "If Louis Walsh doesn't shut his stupid fucking mouth I'll shove my fist so far up his ass I'll be able to bring his kidneys with me on the way out. Don't get me started on that Cowell wanker either. He thinks just because he has a beard now this year will be different. It won't. It will be the same as every other fucking year: a bunch of nobodies who will never be heard from again once the show is over. If Simon Cowell gives me any more shit I will bite his dick off and use it to fuck him with."
The X Factor is currently in its 75th season.
Sharon Osbourne, known for her outspoken opinions and brutal honesty, has came under fire from every other judge on the panel, notably out-of-touch-with-reality Irish simpleton Louis Walsh.
"She's so out of touch with reality it's unbelievable" says Walsh from his 16 bedroom castle in LA. "If she's not careful, she's going to become a parody of herself. Have you heard the new Boyzone?"
Luckily, the judges criticism hasn't affected Sharon's positive outlook.
"Fuck those judges," said Sharon. "If Louis Walsh doesn't shut his stupid fucking mouth I'll shove my fist so far up his ass I'll be able to bring his kidneys with me on the way out. Don't get me started on that Cowell wanker either. He thinks just because he has a beard now this year will be different. It won't. It will be the same as every other fucking year: a bunch of nobodies who will never be heard from again once the show is over. If Simon Cowell gives me any more shit I will bite his dick off and use it to fuck him with."
The X Factor is currently in its 75th season.
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