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World Of Warcraft Trailer Released, Tissue Share Prices Soar

6/11/2015

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There was chaos on the floor of the stock exchange today as the share price of all tissue manufacturers in the world sky rocketed after the release of the trailer for World of Warcraft. While there is no cast iron proof behind the cause of this, the most prevalent theory is that nerds everywhere are using them at an alarming rate.

Local virgin Steve Wood offered us a comment, but we couldn't really understand what he was saying, due to his frenzied masturbation.
The CEO of Kleenex industries, Wigh Pupcum, could hardly contain his delight as he met the mass media on a specially made podium on Wall Street. "It's absolutely amazing, we've been able to start a new research facility with the extra money we're making, our hope is that after the release of Star Wars, we will finally have enough money to buy a nuke."

Yet another local virgin George Luke commented "What do you mean you don't want to shake my hand? I've cleaned up with a tissue!"
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