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Theresa May Fills Cabinet With Arseholes

14/7/2016

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Theresa May completed a reshuffle of her cabinet today in her first act as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. In a move that has shocked seven people in London she removed a number of complete arseholes from the cabinet and replaced them with another selection of complete and utter arseholes. 

May told a crowded Downing Street "I didn't really have much to choose from, every single person involved in politics is an arsehole at the very least, I did make one change though, I chose a cunt to be Foreign Secretary."
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In his first interview as Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson told an excited House of Commons bar "Well I mean I can't say what I really think to all those savages out there, but my main aim will be to keep them away from me. They're probably riddled with disease what what. To be completely honest with you, I think that bitch did it as a joke, she knows I hate Europe."

Sun reader Malcolm Hardlyworks told our reporter "I don't really understand things very well."
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