The world of mental health was today blown away by the news that a suicidal man decided against committing suicide after watching The Suicide Squad. Sadab Outlife told our highly qualified journalists outside the Showcase at West Bromwich "It's pretty ironic really, I went there to get some tips about killing myself, I didn't know what the film was about you see, I mean I am clinically depressed and right on the edge, but I'm not enough of a loser to read comic books!"
The film's distributors Warner Brothers were less than pleased about the story breaking, as spokesman told The Daily Mail "I'm really disappointed that this happened. We're trying to make serious films here. We're not Marvel, if anything this film should have exposed him to so many serious real life issues that he topped himself in the cinema. It's West Brom after all, the smell probably would have been an improvement."
The owner of the Showcase commented "Have you got a quid mate? I need to get the bus to my missus in hospital and I haven't got any money. Come on business man, help me out would you? Oh, right, too good for me are you. Well fuck you mother fucker!"
The owner of the Showcase commented "Have you got a quid mate? I need to get the bus to my missus in hospital and I haven't got any money. Come on business man, help me out would you? Oh, right, too good for me are you. Well fuck you mother fucker!"
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