Star Wars creator George Lucas has shocked Hollywood by re-acquiring the rights to Star Wars and immediately re-selling the rights to all future Star Wars endeavours to porn giants Brazzers.
The 71 year old film-maker was in the midst of a disagreement over merchandising rights with The Walt Disney Company when negotiations turned sour, resulting in Lucas using loopholes in the multi-million dollar sale of Lucasfilm to re-acquire the Star Wars brand. As a result, the upcoming 7th Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, has been cancelled.
The 71 year old film-maker was in the midst of a disagreement over merchandising rights with The Walt Disney Company when negotiations turned sour, resulting in Lucas using loopholes in the multi-million dollar sale of Lucasfilm to re-acquire the Star Wars brand. As a result, the upcoming 7th Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens, has been cancelled.
Lucas commented, "There is literally no point in letting that mouse cunt and Jar Jar Abrams make more money.. I mean, more Star Wars, if I can't somehow make money off it. There's a reason they call me Hard Ball Lucas and it isn't because my testes are like boulders, which they are. It's because I'm all about the hard sell, and all for cold cash."
The Walt Disney Company purchased Lucasfilm in its entirety, including the rights to Star Wars, in 2012 for a princely sum of literally all the money in the world. Production on the seventh film in the series, The Force Awakens, ran Disney a bill of 200 Million big ones. The break down of this deal means that Disney faces a slight dip in profits.
The Walt Disney Company purchased Lucasfilm in its entirety, including the rights to Star Wars, in 2012 for a princely sum of literally all the money in the world. Production on the seventh film in the series, The Force Awakens, ran Disney a bill of 200 Million big ones. The break down of this deal means that Disney faces a slight dip in profits.
Image Credit: http://www.artfixdaily.com/images/newsfeed/July16_lucas.jpg
Based in Montreal, porn producers Brazzers will now be remaking the entire Star Wars Chronology under the new name Star Whores, which will include A New Grope and The Empire Strikes Bareback, ending with the official new chapter The Force Awankens.
Fans of Star Wars have taken to social media to voice their anger at this decision. Twitter user LukeUseTheForce said " WTF this is the worst thing to happen to star wars since midichlorians! #hateleadstosuffering". Since the announcement, a Change.org petition has been launched to boycott the deal, as well as two other petitions; One to give the rights back to Marvel (Which makes no sense) and another to stop Lucas from directing any of the new porn adaptations.
"Let me be clear, Star Wars fans have always been assholes" Lucas commented, "At least now I can say with total confidence that they are all wankers."
Filming for Star Whores: Episode One - The Phantom Missus, commences on Skywalker Ranch in March 2016
Original Story: http://nypost.com/2015/10/19/advanced-tickets-for-star-wars-the-force-awakens-are-on-sale/
Fans of Star Wars have taken to social media to voice their anger at this decision. Twitter user LukeUseTheForce said " WTF this is the worst thing to happen to star wars since midichlorians! #hateleadstosuffering". Since the announcement, a Change.org petition has been launched to boycott the deal, as well as two other petitions; One to give the rights back to Marvel (Which makes no sense) and another to stop Lucas from directing any of the new porn adaptations.
"Let me be clear, Star Wars fans have always been assholes" Lucas commented, "At least now I can say with total confidence that they are all wankers."
Filming for Star Whores: Episode One - The Phantom Missus, commences on Skywalker Ranch in March 2016
Original Story: http://nypost.com/2015/10/19/advanced-tickets-for-star-wars-the-force-awakens-are-on-sale/
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